- [first lines]
- [handing a cup to another police officer]
- Lt. Jack Curtis: All right. And one coffee - too much cream, too much sugar.
- Nate Hester: You have a memory like an elephant, don't you?
- Lt. Jack Curtis: Your motto in the Police Academy, "Nothing in moderation." Was that it?
- Nate Hester: You know, Jack, that was a lot of years ago. Somewhere along the line it all caught up with me.
- [Automan cocks his pistol when LeBlanc reaches for his gun]
- Automan: Go ahead - do the world a favor.
- Thug: Who the hell are you?
- Automan: I'm a cop.
- Thug: Oh, yeah? Well, go ahead and arrest me. I'll be out in 24 hours.
- Automan: You know something? You've got a point there.
- Thug: Then I guess I'll just be on my way.
- Automan: On the other hand, you have a right to a speedy trial
- [Automan knocks the thug unconscious]
- Automan: [to Ostler] Listen, worm, the only reason you're alive right now is 'cause me and my friend don't feel like driving. All you're doing is taking up oxygen and there's not enough of that to go around. Now either you pull over to that phone booth and call LeBlanc or else somebody's going to make a hundred bucks selling a picture of your bullet-riddled body to the tabloids. Go on, call my bluff.
- [Automan is pretending to be a rogue cop nicknamed "Mad Dog"]
- Automan: Walter, you'd better tell this guy what I do to liars.
- Walter Nebicher: I'd be very careful if I were you. Mad Dog doesn't play by the rules.
- Automan: Sure I do - only they're *my* rules.
- [Automan points his .44 Magnum at Rafferty]
- Automan: You sure you want to confess?
- Simon Rafferty: Absolutely.
- Automan: Oh, well. I guess it's just *not my day*.