- Thomas Banacek: [to Jay Drury] Well, there's an old Polish proverb that says, "When the wolf is chasing your sleigh, throw him a raisin cookie, but don't stop to bake a cake."
- Thomas Banacek: There's an old Polish proverb that says...
- Gina: Better safe than sorry?
- Thomas Banacek: Well, it's close, but the Polish version is, "A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
- Desk Clerk: No radio or TV playin' after 10 o'clock at night, no alcoholic beverages ANY time, and NO women-folks in the rooms.
- [pause]
- Desk Clerk: Enjoy your stay!
- Thomas Banacek: How?
- Felix Mulholland: I hope you realize you've just destroyed my hopes of setting a new world's record.
- Thomas Banacek: At this time of night? In what category?
- Motel Manager: The rules are no women in the rooms, no alcohol at any time and no television or radio after 10 p.m. Enjoy your stay.
- Thomas Banacek: How?
- Jay Drury: Boss the sign says 'Private Keep Out'!
- Thomas Banacek: Did you ever see one that said 'Private Come In'?