Barney Miller (TV Series)
Massage Parlor (1976)
Hal Linden: Capt. Barney Miller
Quotes
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Capt. Barney Miller : Any luck ?
Fletcher : These pictures... some of them are awfully old. I mean, they're yellow and curling up at the edges
Det. Phil Fish : It will happen to you to, Mr. Fletcher
Capt. Barney Miller : Chano, maybe you better bring those ladies in just in case Mr Fletcher can make a positive ID
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : All right
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Capt. Barney Miller : Yeah... good... very good... okay... Have them send a squad car and padlock that massage parlor... Wentworth got soliicited, she's bringing in a suspect
Det. Ron Harris : Oh wow ! We blew it and she pulls it off. How do you explain that ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Experience
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Capt. Barney Miller : Have you been solicited in your recent travels ?
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Not yet ?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey man -- me neither, and I was giving it my best shot... charm, intelligence, humor
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : I think the girl knew I was a cop. She never got below my shoulders.
Det. Ron Harris : You know, I think what my problem was, no one could believe I could go to a place like that... No I mean really man,I don't look desperate enough
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Oh man, get off it
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Det. Phil Fish : I couldn't get anyone to do anything to me for any amount of money
Capt. Barney Miller : Legitimate massage parlor then, huh ?
Det. Phil Fish : They wouldn't even do that
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Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Barney, ah, Mr. Fletcher said he was mugged by a little old lady
Capt. Barney Miller : You don't believe it
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : You kidding? The way he way he worked over? It had to be a guy dressed as an old lady
Det. Ron Harris : Well, there's a lot of creeps who that work that way
Capt. Barney Miller : Okay , go into the files see what you can find on somebody who uses that MO
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Right
Capt. Barney Miller : But... uh, we don't pass up any opportunities, especially the eyewitness account of a victim. So, let's see what we have on older woman with a history of violent behavior
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Oh...
Capt. Barney Miller : We may get an I.D. out of it
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Capt. Barney Miller : Wojo, uh, do the preliminary report, will you ?
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Det. Janice Wentworth : Captain, I just checked Lance for priors. He's got nothing here, he's got nothing back in Oklahoma. I just think he's a kid that got caught in a bad scene, you know
Capt. Barney Miller : He's young and he's got no record. I guess, the judge will go easy on him if he promised to find a new line of work
Lance Peterson : Yeah,but Captain, I'm not suited for anything else
Capt. Barney Miller : Your telling me that's the only way you can find to make a living. Don't you have a skill
Lance Peterson : Yeah, so I been told
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Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Hey, Fish! How'd it go?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey, c'mon Fish, did you uh... did you get a bite?
Capt. Barney Miller : Fish? Any luck?
Det. Phil Fish : I couldn't get anyone to do anything to me... for any amount of money.
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh, legitimate... uh, massage parlor, hm?
Det. Phil Fish : They wouldn't even do that.