"The Sniper" features a husband (Sully Boyar) fearing that his wife (Charlotte Rae) has given away half her money to a swindler (Jay Robinson, first of two) selling trips to Saturn. He tells Fish what it's like 'up there' (the answer is "Heaven"), and if Saturn is Heaven, then where is Hell? ("Philadelphia!"). An unseen sniper takes a pot shot at Wojo (missed him by THAT much), and Inspector Luger shows up, disappointed that Wojo got rattled by a single shot and 'ducked!' ("Polish people are like that!"). No sooner has Luger left than he returns, his windshield victimized by the sniper's bullet ("weird, ain't it?"). Wojo is relieved now that the sniper took a shot at Luger, who reminisces about his former comrades on the force- Foster, Kleiner, and Brown, which he often did in Barney's company: Foster "died of pneumonia, suckin' for air!"; Kleiner, felled by three strokes, "laid there like a carrot, sweet redheaded son of a Brown, happy house up there in New Hampshire," fed tapioca three times a day! (he should have kept his mouth shut about old cops).
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