- Bruce Wayne: [looking into the camera as Lisa embraces him] Man cannot live by crime-fighting alone.
- Lisa Carson: Would you like to come in for a glass of... milk and cookies.
- Bruce Wayne: I'm afraid it's rather late.
- [looks at his watch]
- Bruce Wayne: Why, it's ten-thirty.
- King Tut: When we get to the Royal oil boiling room, be sure to prepare some real boiling Royal boiling oil, to boil the Boy Wonder in, royally.
- Narrator: [narrating] As you may recall, we last left Batman sealed in an Egyptian sarcaphocus five feet under water. For you, several hours have passed. For our heros, not one second. We just may be witnessing the final chapter in Batman's brave life. Don't move an inch! The most incredible occurances have yet to occur... incredibly!
- Lisa Carson: Next to Bruce Wayne, my father is probably the wealthiest man in Gotham City. He'll pay you anything if you'll just let me go.
- Royal jester: She speaks with straight tongue, sire. John E. Carson has tons of the stuff.
- King Tut: Curse you, Batman. May you fall down a flight of stairs and break every tooth in your head except one and in that may you have a toothache for the rest of your life which won't be very long.
- Jolly Jackson: Okay, you can turn your radios up again. Good. For those of you who didn't hear what Batman had to say, it was very interesting. And for those of you who didn't turn your radios off, naughty, naughty.
- King Tut: [on phone] Hello, hello, Dad? This is your future son-in-law.
- John E. Carson: [on other line] What?
- King Tut: I'm sure you'll be happy to welcome me into your family, I come from good stock. My father was a king, grandfather before him, and so am I.
- John E. Carson: Leaving out your larcenous lineage, what have you done with and/or to my daughter?
- Professor William Omaha McElroy,: Did I do it again?
- Batman: You certainly did.
- Professor William Omaha McElroy,: Did I hurt anybody?
- Batman: Only yourself, professor, only yourself.
- King Tut: Before this night is out, I shall revel in the sight of a big, crisp, polyunsaturated bat! And that goes for his sickening sidekick, too.
- King Tut: Don't work yourself into a flap, Spunky! He's drowned! Not even brat-to-bat resuscitation can help him now!