Batman (TV Series)
Hi Diddle Riddle (1966)
Adam West: Batman
Photos
Quotes
-
Batman : I'll stand at the bar. I shouldn't wish to attract attention.
-
What a Way to Go Go Club Doorman : [outside the What A Way To Go Go discoteque] Sorry Batman, I'm afraid the boy is under age.
Batman : It's the law.
[dramatic pause]
Batman : Very odd. This could be a plot to seperate us.
-
Batman : "Why is an orange like a bell?"
Robin : Answer - because they both must be "peeled."
Batman : Right - you peel an orange and you peal a bell! Get it?
Chief O'Hara : What idiots we are! Now, why couldn't we have worked that out?
Commissioner Gordon : But what does it mean, though?
Batman : Right, commissioner. There's the problem. We all know this quizzical criminal operates. He deliberately leaves clues to confound us.
Robin : Clues which may or may not lead to the real crime he's planning.
Inspector Basch : The real crime?
Batman : Precisely, Inspector Basch. The Riddler contrives his plots like artichokes. You have to strip off the spiny leaves to reach the heart.
-
Batman : Out riddled!
The Riddler : I thought you might be, Batman. That's why I brought witnesses with camera's. Hoho! What is it that no man wants to have yet no man wants to lose?
Robin : A lawsuit!
The Riddler : Correct, Boy Wonder!
-
Batman : [to bartender] A large, fresh orange juice, please.
-
Batman : [sounding inebriated after drinking a spiked glass of fresh orange juice] Officers, out of my way, they've got Robin!
[gets into Batmobile]
Batman : Out of my way I said, I've got to get after Robin.
Young police officer : Hand me the key, Batman. I'm afraid you're in no condition to drive.
-
Bruce Wayne : Yes, commissioner?
Commissioner Gordon : You'll never guess who's on the loose. Your old archenemy. The Riddler.
Bruce Wayne : Good heavens!
Dick Grayson : Him again!
Commissioner Gordon : Will you come to headquarters right away?
Bruce Wayne : It'll be a pleasure, Commissioner Gordon.
[hangs up Batphone after which he and Dick head for the Batpoles without another word]
-
Bruce Wayne : My resources are behind you... in full.
Mr. Harris : You're a real champion, Mr. Wayne.
Female visitor : Indeed you are.
Bruce Wayne : Don't mention it, Mr. Harris. Perhaps if they're had been anti-crime centers of the type you now propose when my own parents were murdered by dastardly criminals...
Bruce Wayne : [Alfred clears his throat] Yes, Alfred?
Alfred Pennyworth : [Whispers] The batphone sir.
Bruce Wayne : Forgive me. I'm just reminded I promised to take my young ward Dick Grayson fishing. If you'll excuse me.
Mr. Harris : It will be a pleasure working with you, sir.
Female visitor : It's wonderful knowing you're behind us.
Bruce Wayne : Oh there you are, Dick. Feel like a bit of... fishing?
Dick Grayson : Holy Barracuda! You mean...
[Dick notices Aunt Harriet behind him]
Dick Grayson : Sure, Bruce. Why not? Sounds swell. Doesn't it Aunt Harriet?
-
Batman : [answers the Batphone] Batman speaking.
The Riddler : [maniacal laughter] This is a recording, before you trip over your cape, Batman, riddle me this - There are three men in a boat with four cigarettes but no matches. How do they manage to smoke? Hmm?
-
Dick Grayson : Find anything?
Bruce Wayne : Looks black as pitch, Dick. I've been through all mu father's old law books. I don't see we have a leg to stand on.
Alfred Pennyworth : A million dollars.
Bruce Wayne : It's not the money, Alfred. It's the idea of it. My identity revealed, my value as a secret crime-fighter ended, everything I trained myself for since my parents were murdered, in the ashcan. Gone. Up the shoot.
Alfred Pennyworth : Well, sir, I do hope something can be worked out. If poor Mrs. Cooper were to find out what Master Dick has been doing on these supposed fishing trips of yours.
