- Robin: Batman!
- The Joker: [a sword hanging on a wall falls and hits Batman in the head. Batman pretends to be knocked out. The Joker's henchman restrain Robin; he laughs] We have two more jewels for our collection! My comic crondies, Batman and Robin, the dashing diamonds of derring-do.
- [laughs]
- The Joker: Come, my funny fellows! We've got a little diamond cutting to do!
- [the two henchman lead Robin away and two more henchman pick up batman and begin to walk away with him]
- [Defeated by a gizmo from Batman's utility belt]
- The Joker: I swear by all that is funny, I shall never be foiled by that insidious, unconstitutional device again!
- Bruce Wayne: [Bruce, letting Dick know that there's a call on the Batphone] We'd better get a move on, Dick, if we're going to make it to that ball game on time.
- Dick Grayson: Holy Koufax, you mean... I mean, I didn't know it was getting so late, Bruce.
- Batman: I think I've got it...
- Robin: You have, Batman?
- Batman: [picks up the Joker's doll by the head] What other kind of clown is there besides a circus clown? I'll give you a hint: tonight, there's going to be a live telecast of the Gotham City opera company.
- Robin: [hits palm of his hand with fist] Golly, Batman, I still don't get it.
- Batman: They're performing a certain celebrated Italian opera...
- Robin: [thinks for a moment] Holy ravioli!
- Robin: You're warm...
- Batman, Robin: Pagliacci!
- Commissioner Gordon: [on phone with Chief O'Hara] In the meantime, if it is the Joker that we're up against, that clown prince of crime, there's only one man who can handle this. I don't have to tell you who.
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: I'm afraid you're going to have to practice more diligently, Dick. You're just not making any progress with Chopin.
- Dick Grayson: Gee whiz, Aunt Harriet, what's so important about Chopin?
- Bruce Wayne: All music is important, Dick. It's the universal language. One of our best hopes for the eventual realization of the brotherhood of man.
- Commissioner Gordon: [hangs up the Batphone, having tried to contact Batman while Bruce and Dick are standing in his office] He's not there.
- Chief O'Hara: [sounds as if he's about to cry] But... what are we to do now, commissioner?
- Commissioner Gordon: [hangs his head low] I... I just don't know.
- Chief O'Hara: [the Joker has escaped from prison using a spring loaded pitcher's mound] The Devil!... He sprung himself!
- Narrator: Sprung!... You can say that again!