- The Penguin: Very ingenious, Joker. A crime almost as good as one of mine.
- The Joker: [pulls a disgusted face] One of yours? Those piddly escapades?
- [sarcastic high pitch laughter]
- The Penguin: "Ha" yourself, you cornball crook.
- The Joker: Why, you waddling little pipsqueak.
- The Penguin: You gap-toothed goon!
- Narrator: [During bat-fight] Whack! Pam! Sock! Vronk! Kapow! Rakkk! Ooooff! Zap! Boff! Splatt! Splatt! Zlonk!
- Bruce Wayne: Don't listen to idle rumors, Aunt Harriet.
- Mrs. Cooper: Oh, I know I shouldn't, but someone told me that both the Joker and the Penguin were after Batman, and Robin almost got eaten alive by a giant clam!
- Dick Grayson: How could one little clam eat a boy his size?
- Mrs. Cooper: It does sound a little far-fetched, doesn't it?
- Alfred: Dinner is served.
- Alfred: About time, Alfred. What are we having?
- Alfred: We begin with your favorite, Master Dick - clam chowder.
- Mrs. Cooper: Clam chowder? Isn't that a coincidence?
- [Dick has a choked-up expression]
- Bruce Wayne: Chin-up, old chum. It's one way of getting even.