The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Joker's Millions (1998)

Sam McMurray: Ernie

Quotes 

• Ernie : Hey boss. Why didn't you buy Harley a ticket out of the bin too?

  The Joker : Now, now, Ernie. Mustn't be too extravagant. besides, it's cheaper to hire a new one.

  [Walking among a row of "Harley candidates"] 

  The Joker : Too fat. Too small. Too old.

  The Joker : [takes a good look at Paul Dini, dressed in a Harley Quinn outfit]  ... No.

  Paul Dini : Darn!

• The Joker : If I don't pay my taxes, I'll go to jail. But if I admit Barlowe duped me, I'll look like a fool!

  Ernie : Maybe you can raise the cash by pulling one of your classic routines, like them laughing fish.

  The Joker : [patting him on the head, sarcastically]  Good idea, Ernie. Let's let Batman know I did it so he can kick my keister right back into Arkham!

  [pushing him away] 

  The Joker : Dope.

• Batman : [to one of Joker's henchmen]  Why the disguise, Ernie? Where is he?

  Ernie : I don't know what you're talking about!

  The Penguin : He can't threaten my guests.

  Batman : Let me jog your memory.

  [sounds of a splash and Ernie gurgling, followed by a toilet flushing; Penguin creeps away] 

• Fake Harley : Hey, Mr. G, this money looks weird.

  The Joker : What do you mean?

  [taking it] 

  The Joker : It's a plain old stack of 100s. See? There's Ben Franklin's chubby little...

  [taking a closer look] 

  The Joker : What? King Barlowe?

  [going to another stack] 

  The Joker : He's on this stack. And this one!

  Fake Harley : He's on every one of these 1000s.

  The Joker : I don't understand.

  Ernie : [showing him a videocassette]  Hey, boss. I found this.