The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Judgment Day (1998)

Steven Weber: J. Carroll Corcoran

Quotes 

• J. Carroll Corcoran : Two-Face, please! I got money! Cash! I can pay you!

  Two-Face : Don't tell me choir boy's got a slush fund.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : Kickbacks from the Gothcorp project. A hundred grand... I can have it here in an hour!

  Two-Face : Should've said something earlier. We could have flipped on it.

• J. Carroll Corcoran : What are you waiting for! They were going to murder me!

  The Judge : Who are you to judge? You pose as a defender of the law while secretly stealing from the very people you swore to protect.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : No! You've got it wrong!

  The Judge : And then you lie to the Judge!

• J. Carroll Corcoran : Please, in the name of humanity.

  Henchman : Sorry. The boss has to show your pal he won't be pushed around.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : I'll give you the money. There's even more. Just let me go.

  Henchman : And two-time Two-Face? Right.

• J. Carroll Corcoran : These police files weren't easy to come by, but I believe they'll be invaluable to your crusade. You understand, of course, I can't be connected to them.

  The Judge : Then why are you doing this?

  J. Carroll Corcoran : The people like you, Judge. My polls have shot up ten points since endorsing you. I figure if Gordon can have his hero, why can't I have mine? You knock a few heads, I go home with my hands clean. Everybody's happy.

• Two-Face : Where's the Judge?

  J. Carroll Corcoran : I don't know!

  Two-Face : [slapping him]  You shouldn't yell at your constituents. I'll give you one more chance.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : I'm telling the truth! I don't know where to find the Judge. He comes to me. He calls me. That's the way it works! Honest!

  Two-Face : What do you think?

  Henchman : I believe him.

  Henchman : Yeah.

  Two-Face : The jury has spoken. But even if you can't find him, you can still help me send him a message.

  [flipping his coin, which comes up on the bad side] 

  Two-Face : You know what to do, boys.

• J. Carroll Corcoran : Yes, yes. I can understand your frustration.

  The Judge : It's the second time Batman has interfered. I'm going to have to deal with him.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : Well, let's not get too rambunctious. I got a primary next week. The last thing I need is the good guys in a slap fight.

  [the Judge hangs up; as papers flutter across his desk, he sees Batman come in through the window] 

  J. Carroll Corcoran : Ah, speak of the devil.

• J. Carroll Corcoran : [into a tape recorder]  In closing, let me just say that as your councilman, I am always at your service to solve your problems.

  Two-Face : That's good to hear.

• Batman : Where's the Judge?

  J. Carroll Corcoran : Oh, darn. You just missed him. And he keeps forgetting to leave his number.

  Batman : I'm bringing him in, Corcoran.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : What's the matter, Batman? Feeling threatened?

  Batman : He's going to kill someone.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : Who? Two-Face? Killer Croc? You think anyone cares?

  [Batman remains stone-faced] 

  J. Carroll Corcoran : I'll tell you what people care about. The revolving door at Arkham that keeps sending these freaks back on the street! Not that I'm criticizing your work, mind you. You've done a heck of a job.

  [Batman glances at the hand on his shoulder, which Corcoran removes] 

  J. Carroll Corcoran : Really great. But these days, people want results. They want closure. They want...

  [seeing Batman is gone] 

  J. Carroll Corcoran : [satisfied]  I think he got my point.

• J. Carroll Corcoran : What are you waiting for? They were going to murder me!

  The Judge : Who are you to judge? You pose as a defender of the law, while secretly stealing from the very people you swore to protect.

  J. Carroll Corcoran : No, you got it wrong.

  The Judge : And then you lie to the Judge.

  [just as he's about to strike down Corcoran with his sword, a batarang knocks it out of his hands] 

  Batman : Good thing I came back to see you, Corcoran. I have some news about your hero.