"The Ben Stiller Show" With Flea (TV Episode 1992) - Ben Stiller as Ben Stiller - Host, Various Characters

Head Terrorist : Your coincidental appearance at every terrorist attack on Christmas Eve grows tiresome, Mister BAG BOY.

Bruce Willis : Yabba dabba doo, dabba dooby dabba dooby dabba.

Head Terrorist : Shut UP.
Daniel Day Lewis : You know, the Mohicans may have been last in the race to survive, but they were number one when it came to cross-training.
Daniel Day Lewis : Warning. If something goes wrong with the treadmill, stay on. Do not get off. I will come, no matter what occurs. I will fix it.
Police Officer in Charge : You just destroyed an entire deli section, mister.

Bruce Willis : What do you think I'm doing here, comparison shopping, huh?
Bruce Willis : Scum check, aisle six.
Bruce Willis : How can the same thing happen to the same guy so many times?
David Cassidy : Tony Bobbins, are you the devil?

Tony Bobbins : I am not evil, I am not the devil!
John McClane : [John is hiding under a display of cabbages, two terrorists run by it - John comes up from under it with a pistol in a violent rage] Hey fellas! Gotta eat your greens!

[Kills Terrorists]
John McClane : [John has run out of one-liners, and he's just impaled a Terrorist's face with dozens of toothpicks] Think damnit think!... uhh... sorry to pick on you guys... heh... yeah.

Ben Stiller: Ben Stiller - Host, Various Characters