- Jethro Bodine: We is gettin' married tomorrow in Westminster Abbey.
- [Granny groans]
- Jethro Bodine: I never seen Granny so happy. I'm gonna go tell Elly.
- Jed Clampett: Have you told her uncle?
- Jethro Bodine: She's gonna tell him. He's gonna give her away.
- Daisy Moses: He's got her priced right.
- Jed Clampett: [Colonel Dumbarton is playing "Turkey in the Straw" on the bagpipes] I wonder how he know that tune.
- Daisy Moses: It's the tonic, Jed.
- Daisy Moses: I sent him over a jar of Dr. Daisy's Cold Turkey Tonic.
- Jed Clampett: Well, that's a new one on me.
- Daisy Moses: Oh, it's a harmless vegetable compound as long as you don't drop it or light a match close to it.
- Daisy Moses: I'm cuttin' off your tonic.
- Colonel Dumbarton: No, no, not that, Daisy!
- Daisy Moses: Dr. Daisy to you. No weddin', no tonic.
- Colonel Dumbarton: I'll go and have another word with the girl.
- Jed Clampett: No, don't do that.
- Daisy Moses: She's the one that jilted poor Jethro.
- Sandra MacGregor: Oh, I only did it to save him.
- Daisy Moses: Save him?
- Sandra MacGregor: Yes, well, I'm only a commoner and he's royalty. Well, if he'd married me, the Queen would have cut off his head.