The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Sam Drucker's Visit (1969)

Irene Ryan: Daisy Moses

Quotes 

• Daisy Moses : Back in Tennessee, my old granny had a sayin': Thirteen and fourteen, a girl's in her prime/Fifteen and sixteen, she's still got time/Seventeen and eighteen, she's just about done/Nineteen and twenty, her pa needs a gun.

• Jethro Bodine : Which room do you want me to put your dentist chair in, Granny?

  Daisy Moses : I think I'll just let you bolt it down to the bed of the truck.

  Jed Clampett : You figger to practice here on the truck?

  Daisy Moses : Why not? You know how people hate to go to the dentist. This way, the dentist will go to the people.

  Jed Clampett : You think folks is ready fer curb service dentistry?

  Daisy Moses : Ready, willin' and anxious. Why just driving along, the minute they seen this chair, their mouths just fell open.

• Jethro Bodine : Uncle Jed, if Granny marries Sam Drucker and he totes her off to Hooterville, you and me is goin' to starve to death. That's a terrible way to go.

  Daisy Moses : Elly has cooked some vittles.

  Jethro Bodine : That's a even worse way to go.

• Daisy Moses : Granny, why don't you tell Sam Drucker the truth?

  Jed Clampett : I aim to, Jed.

  Daisy Moses : Good.

  Jed Clampett : Just as soon as I'm Mrs. Sam Drucker, I'll confess everything.

• Daisy Moses : He proposed to me by mail once, but Elly's bear et my letter.

• Telegraph Girl : The message concludes, " Will call on arrival".

  Daisy Moses : Well, that's a good joke on Sam. He ain't got no rival. Ha. We ain't gonna tell him that. My motto is to keep 'em guessin'. Once they get to thinkin' they're the only rooster in the henhouse, you're in trouble.

• Daisy Moses : Ther's goin' to be some grown-up courtin' in here. Sam Drucker's comin' to town.

  Jed Clampett : To see you?

  Daisy Moses : He ain't comin' to see Mae Busch.

  Jed Clampett : What about that sayin' your granny had down there in Tennessee?

  Daisy Moses : My grandpa had another sayin': "Old violins make the sweetest music. Course, you have to have the right beau."

  [Jed is unimpressed] 

  Daisy Moses : That's a witty sayin' Jed.

  Jed Clampett : Not too witty.

  Daisy Moses : Well, it beats "Well doggies".