Black Books (TV Series)
Manny's First Day (2000)
Bill Bailey: Manny
Photos
Quotes
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Manny : This place could look all right, you know, with a few lamps.
Bernard : Why didn't you just say you were gay?
Manny : I'm not.
Bernard : But you're interested in lamps.
Manny : Yeah, but I'm interested in women... and lamps. I thought you were actually. Gay, I mean
Bernard : So did I, for a short while, but then I learnt of the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that *dancing*
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Bernard : I'm going out. I'm taking some clothes to Oxfam.
Manny : Alright.
Bernard : I usually lock up.
Manny : But now I'm here it's different.
Bernard : Yes. It's different.
[starts to lock the door]
Manny : Why are you locking the door?
Bernard : I always lock the door.
Manny : But now that I'm here it's different.
Bernard : Yes. It's different. I've never locked anybody in before.
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Manny : [entertaining customers in Bernard's absence] Who will buy my books today / All the authors on display / Some of Dickens and some of Shaw's / Peter Bletchley... he wrote Jaws. / Oh who will buy my books today / "Who's in the books?" I hear you say, /Leopold Bloom and Josef K, And Bridget Jones. / Who will buy my books today? / "Why read books?" I hear you say. / It's educational and it's fun, / and you get sucked into a whole different world. / Who will buy my books today? / Maybe something a tad outré / Something by obscure women / or something that's not necessarily plot-driven. / Oh who will buy my books today? / Now I'll send you on your way / Before you go, there's just one thing, / We're completely sold out of Lord of the Rings.
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Bernard : Where are all the books?
Manny : Pardon?
Bernard : Where are all the books?
Manny : Oh. They've all been sold.
Bernard : Oh Jesus! That means I have to ring the ordering place and you have no idea how incredibly boring and complicated that is.
[calls the ordering place]
Bernard : Hello? Is this the place you order books from if you want to sell them from your bookshop? I don't know. I don't know. Can you just send me some books? Argh.
Manny : [takes phone] Hello, who am I speaking to? Katy, Hi! Uh, we'll have the full Austen, complete Trollope - not you! Penguin paperback editions. Tolstoy? Yeah. Fling a few in. Alright, alright. Bye bye.