- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: You know what I think?
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: Couldn't be much - it takes brains to think.
- Denver McKee: Well, the boys seem happy. How 'bout you?
- Miles Briscoe: I don't like the way things are goin'.
- Denver McKee: Why? What's wrong?
- Miles Briscoe: I didn't want there to be no killin's. We decided that when we started all this.
- Denver McKee: But when you point a gun at a man, sometimes he has to go for his own. When that happens, he's got to pull the trigger. If I learned one thing as a sheriff, it was that!
- Miles Briscoe: You never learned to shoot no man in the back.
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: How do you do it? You haven't been back twenty-four hours and you know every girl I've ever talked to.
- Connie McKee: I have only mentioned four. Would you like me to tell you the rest of the list?
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: No, never mind. 'Course you didn't do anything when you were back East, 'cept maybe knit socks.
- Connie McKee: Well, you know very well I went to a girls school.
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Mm-hmm. Only the way I heard it, there was a boys school right down the block. How long is your list?
- Connie McKee: You'll die wondering, Little Joe.
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Ya see anything?
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: Not a thing. I think we're wasting our time.
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Well, we're young, brother. We've got plenty of time.
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: Yeah, maybe, but as slow as it went last night, I feel like I'm ninety years old already.
- Denver McKee: All right, it's about time I started taking care of my own house. I've taken care of other people's houses for twenty years - what the devil did it ever get me? A hundred dollars a month, a lot of plaques, a pat on the back and a bullet in the shoulder!
- Denver McKee: Corey, the miner you shot yesterday, is still alive!
- Harley: I must be out of practice.
- Denver McKee: You're not out of practice - you're out of brains!