- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: [Hoss starts inside where his father is yelling. Little Joe is sitting in a rocking chair on the porch, his head covered with his hat] I wouldn't.
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: [Lifts hat off Joe's face] What do you mean, 'I wouldn't'?
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Right now, this is Yorktown, Bunker Hill, and Valley Forge all rolled into one.
- Ben Cartwright: Now, you can't leave us shorthanded just to go to talk to a man who's probably a crackpot!
- Adam Cartwright: Crackpot?
- Ben Cartwright: Yes, crackpot!
- Adam Cartwright: A long time ago a man fooled around with a thing he called a cotton gin. His name was Whitney,a nd they called him a crackpot, too. And they said the same thing about a man called Watt, until his steam engine made history! And before that, there was a man who thought the world was round.
- Ben Cartwright: You missed one.
- Adam Cartwright: Who?
- Ben Cartwright: In between those last two gentlemen you mentioned, there was another man who rode around looking for windmills, and his name was Don Quixote, and he WAS a crackpot!
- Ben Cartwright: I don't have anything against education as long as it doesn't interfere with your thinking!