The Boondocks (TV Series)

A Date with the Health Inspector (2005)

Samuel L. Jackson: Gin Rummy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gin Rummy : I always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

  Riley : What?

  Gin Rummy : Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn't exist.

  Riley : What?

  Gin Rummy : What country are you from?

  Riley : What?

  Gin Rummy : 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in 'What'?

  Riley : What?

  Gin Rummy : English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

  Riley : Yeah.

  Gin Rummy : So you understand the words I'm saying to you!

  Riley : Yeah.

  Gin Rummy : Well, what I'm saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don't know that we don't know.

  Riley : What?

  Gin Rummy : Say what again! Say what again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more time!

• Gin Rummy : I'll be dead on his ass like "Spencer for fuckin' Hire". I'll hunt him down and feed him his testicles, *and* I'll do it in a jiffy. And I don't care if his momma there, his grandmomma, innocent bystanders, little kids, baby sitters, bill collectors, whatever. I'll leave his whole block filled with hot brass if I have to, and you know why? 'Cause *I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!* You guys sure you don't want any breakfast? I have English muffins and peach jelly.

• Gin Rummy : Ain't nobody seen nothin'.

  Huey Freeman : I know who did the killing! I've known for twenty minutes. Guy's name is Terrell Jackson; he's been bragging about it all day. Everybody knows. He lives five minutes away. I've got MapQuest directions right here.

  Ed Wuncler III : How'd you find all this out?

  Huey Freeman : We talked to people!

  Riley : [holds up a drawing]  I got a picture.

  Gin Rummy : Where you get that?

  Riley : I drew it from the description of the dude that they gave us while y'all was whuppin' niggas asses in the street. I almost had time to color it.

• Riley : So y'all was in Iraq together?

  Gin Rummy : Yeah, we was in Iraq.

  Riley : What did you do?

  Gin Rummy : We was lookin' for weapons of mass destruction.

  Riley : Did you ever find 'em?

  Gin Rummy : You know goddamn well we ain't find them! What are you? Some kind of political humorist? You Garry Trudeau up in this bitch?

  Ed Wuncler III : I was lookin' for bitches, but they had that carpet shit all over 'em and I couldn't see what they looked like.

• Gin Rummy : I ain't think that they'd actually shoot back at us.

  Huey Freeman : Well of course they're shooting back at us! You're robbing their store!

  Gin Rummy : You can't assume that people are going to shoot back at you. It was an unknown unknown.

  Huey Freeman : Need I remind you that this has nothing to do with our original plan?

  Gin Rummy : Damn it, Huey! Robbery etiquette says you can't criticize a robbery plan during the actual robbery. You have to wait till the robbery's over.

• Ed Wuncler III : Look! He got a weapon!

  Gin Rummy : Whoa, wait a minute now. Put the gun down.

  Store Owner : Gun? What gun? I'm not holding gun. Guys, it's me. Ed, your father helped me build this store.

  Gin Rummy : I don't know you, motherfucker! Now, put down the weapon! Put it down!

  Store Owner : There is no weapon! Look!

  Gin Rummy : Drop the weapon!

  Officer Frank : I... I don't see a weapon!

  Huey Freeman : There is no weapon! They're robbin' the store!

  Store Owner : I am not holding a weapon! I am not holding a weapon!

  Gin Rummy : Officer, this motherfucker's got a gun pointed at you! Do you wanna die?

  Officer Frank : What?

  Gin Rummy : Do you want to die?

  Officer Frank : I... I don't want to die!

  Huey Freeman : He does not have a gun!

  Gin Rummy : He does have a gun, officer, trust me! The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!

  Officer Frank : I don't see a gun!

  Ed Wuncler III : Man, fuck this shit! Who's side are you on? Mine, or this motherfucker who's obviously of terrorist descent?

  Officer Frank : Wait... I think I can see the gun now.

  Gin Rummy : Good! Now we all see the weapon! Now you hand over that weapon on the count of three, or I swear to almighty God, I'll blow your fucking head off! One!

  Store Owner : I can't give you a weapon I'm not holding! You're thinking of the Korean store, North of here!

  Gin Rummy : Two!

  Officer Frank : Is he... still holding it?

  Huey Freeman : He is not holding a weapon!

  Gin Rummy : Time's up!

• Huey Freeman : Well, this is the apartment building where it all happened. Maybe someone saw something.

  Ed Wuncler III : Oh, somebody saw somethin' all right.

  Huey Freeman : Hey, slow down. We gotta be tactful.

  Ed Wuncler III : Tactful? What that mean?

  Gin Rummy : He talkin' about diplomacy.

  [cocks gun] 

  Gin Rummy : I don't do diplomacy.

• Gin Rummy : I want you to know that you are not going to die... in vain.

  Officer Frank : I don't think I'm dyin'.

  Gin Rummy : Oh. Well, I want you to know you wasn't mortally wounded in vain.

  Officer Frank : Actually, I think I'm gonna make it.