The Boondocks (TV Series)
A Date with the Health Inspector (2005)
Regina King: Huey Freeman, Riley Freeman
Photos
Quotes
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Gin Rummy : I always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn't exist.
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : What country are you from?
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in 'What'?
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
Riley : Yeah.
Gin Rummy : So you understand the words I'm saying to you!
Riley : Yeah.
Gin Rummy : Well, what I'm saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don't know that we don't know.
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : Say what again! Say what again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more time!
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Gin Rummy : Ain't nobody seen nothin'.
Huey Freeman : I know who did the killing! I've known for twenty minutes. Guy's name is Terrell Jackson; he's been bragging about it all day. Everybody knows. He lives five minutes away. I've got MapQuest directions right here.
Ed Wuncler III : How'd you find all this out?
Huey Freeman : We talked to people!
Riley : [holds up a drawing] I got a picture.
Gin Rummy : Where you get that?
Riley : I drew it from the description of the dude that they gave us while y'all was whuppin' niggas asses in the street. I almost had time to color it.
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Riley : So y'all was in Iraq together?
Gin Rummy : Yeah, we was in Iraq.
Riley : What did you do?
Gin Rummy : We was lookin' for weapons of mass destruction.
Riley : Did you ever find 'em?
Gin Rummy : You know goddamn well we ain't find them! What are you? Some kind of political humorist? You Garry Trudeau up in this bitch?
Ed Wuncler III : I was lookin' for bitches, but they had that carpet shit all over 'em and I couldn't see what they looked like.
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Tom Dubois : Earliest I could get out would be on Monday.
Huey Freeman : Well, it's just the weekend.
Tom Dubois : It only takes one night to get anally raped! Huey, the only way for me to get out of here is if you find to the real killer tonight.
Huey Freeman : The real killer? Nigga, I'm 10! How am I gonna find the real killer?
Tom Dubois : Please! You've gotta try!
Huey Freeman : All right, all right, all right. Damn.
Tom Dubois : [sobbing] Thank you, Huey. Whatever you do, don't tell my baby Jazmine! I don't know want her to know her daddy was somebody's biiiiiiiiiitch!
Jazmine Dubois : Was that Daddy? Where is he? Is he OK? Was he kidnapped by terrorists?
Huey Freeman : Um, your father wants you to know he's nobody's bitch.
[Jazmine sobs hysterically]
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Gin Rummy : I ain't think that they'd actually shoot back at us.
Huey Freeman : Well of course they're shooting back at us! You're robbing their store!
Gin Rummy : You can't assume that people are going to shoot back at you. It was an unknown unknown.
Huey Freeman : Need I remind you that this has nothing to do with our original plan?
Gin Rummy : Damn it, Huey! Robbery etiquette says you can't criticize a robbery plan during the actual robbery. You have to wait till the robbery's over.
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Tom Dubois : Huey, I got arrested! They say I fit the description. I think it's 'cause I'm black, Huey. You have to get me outta here, Huey! You don't wanna know what they'll do to me in jail!
Huey Freeman : They'll rape you. That's what they're gonna do. But you're not in jail. You're in holding and I don't think people usually get raped in holding. Hold on.
[calls out]
Huey Freeman : Granddad! Do people get raped in holding?
[Jazmine sobs hysterically]
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Ed Wuncler III : Look! He got a weapon!
Gin Rummy : Whoa, wait a minute now. Put the gun down.
Store Owner : Gun? What gun? I'm not holding gun. Guys, it's me. Ed, your father helped me build this store.
Gin Rummy : I don't know you, motherfucker! Now, put down the weapon! Put it down!
Store Owner : There is no weapon! Look!
Gin Rummy : Drop the weapon!
Officer Frank : I... I don't see a weapon!
Huey Freeman : There is no weapon! They're robbin' the store!
Store Owner : I am not holding a weapon! I am not holding a weapon!
Gin Rummy : Officer, this motherfucker's got a gun pointed at you! Do you wanna die?
Officer Frank : What?
Gin Rummy : Do you want to die?
Officer Frank : I... I don't want to die!
Huey Freeman : He does not have a gun!
Gin Rummy : He does have a gun, officer, trust me! The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!
Officer Frank : I don't see a gun!
Ed Wuncler III : Man, fuck this shit! Who's side are you on? Mine, or this motherfucker who's obviously of terrorist descent?
Officer Frank : Wait... I think I can see the gun now.
Gin Rummy : Good! Now we all see the weapon! Now you hand over that weapon on the count of three, or I swear to almighty God, I'll blow your fucking head off! One!
Store Owner : I can't give you a weapon I'm not holding! You're thinking of the Korean store, North of here!
Gin Rummy : Two!
Officer Frank : Is he... still holding it?
Huey Freeman : He is not holding a weapon!
Gin Rummy : Time's up!
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Huey Freeman : Well, this is the apartment building where it all happened. Maybe someone saw something.
Ed Wuncler III : Oh, somebody saw somethin' all right.
Huey Freeman : Hey, slow down. We gotta be tactful.
Ed Wuncler III : Tactful? What that mean?
Gin Rummy : He talkin' about diplomacy.
[cocks gun]
Gin Rummy : I don't do diplomacy.