- Riley Freeman: Ewww, Mrs. Dubois, your peach cobbler look like throw-up.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy!
- Riley Freeman: It do! Look! It look like throw up with peas in it. Mrs. Dubois you been eatin' peas?
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy, come here what wrong with you?
- Riley Freeman: What's wrong with *me*? What's wrong with *her*? She the one that brought vomit over here in a tupperware container.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That is not vomit. It just looks like vomit. Now apologize to Mrs. Dubois.
- Riley Freeman: Fine. Mrs. Dubois I'm sorry your peach cobbler looks like vomit with peas.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Do you know how long I wanted to own my own restaurant?
- Huey Freeman: Three weeks. At Sunday dinner, that was the first time you mentioned it. And you only started doin' the stupid Sunday dinner thing because you saw Soul Food on cable.
- [Bell sounds]
- Huey Freeman: We're gonna pause this for the benefit of all ya'll that never saw Soul Food. Soul Food is a movie about a big, humongous, black grandmother, aptly named Big Mama. Big Mama demonstrates her love by feeding herself and her offspring enormous amounts of pig lard. Then - get this - Big Mama's arteries are so clogged, they gotta amputate her arm.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: It was her leg!
- Huey Freeman: Right, OK, whatever, leg. Then, she dies from a heart attack or another stroke or somethin'. And what does the family do after she dies? They get together for a Sunday dinner and eat the same food that just killed Big Mama. The *same* food. They didn't learn a lesson, nobody went on a diet, and that's the end of the movie.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Sunday dinners was my idea! They got that from me.
- Huey: [after Riley has passed out from eating Granddad's "Luther Burger"] Do CPR!
- Granddad: [shouts] Riley, wake up!
- Huey: Yeah, I'm not sure yelling at him is going to help, Granddad. How do you not know CPR?
- Granddad: I tried to learn CPR, but they wouldn't let me... because I was Black.
- Huey: What?
- Granddad: Oh, sure, nowadays y'all can just run around and learn CPR whenever y'all want to. Just go around savin' lives, resuscitatin' each other willy-nilly. But when I was a young man, it used to be against the law to teach colored folks CPR, OK!
- Huey: Man, that's not true!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I present to you The Luther. A full pound of burger patty covered in cheese, grilled onions, five strips of bacon, all sandwiched between...
- Riley: Two donuts!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Two *Krispy Kreme* donuts.
- Tom Dubois: Hey, do I smell pork flavored broccoli?
- Sarah Dubois: Hey everyone!
- [singy-song]
- Sarah Dubois: I brought peach cobbler!
- Riley Freeman: Ewww! Mrs. Dubois your peach cobbler look like throw up!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: BOY!
- Riley Freeman: It do, look! It look like throw-up with peas in it! Mrs. Dubois you've been eating peas?
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [grabs Riley by the arm] Boy come here! What is wrong with you!
- Riley Freeman: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with her? She is the one who brought vomit in the container
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That is not vomit! It just looks like vomit! Now apologize to Mrs. Dubois
- Sarah Dubois: [offended] Uh, it's ok! Really!
- Riley Freeman: Fine, Mrs. Dubois I'm sorry your peach cobbler looks like vomit with peas!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: DAMN IT BOY!
- Sarah Dubois: Guys please, I mean you don't have to!
- Riley Freeman: I don't care if you beat me Granddad I won't eat it! That is DISGUSTING!
- [Sarah looks offended]
- Riley Freeman: It's completely uncalled for
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: You will eat it, if I have to hold you down and shove it down your throat!
- Sarah Dubois: Really I didn't mean for it to be.
- Riley Freeman: I know what your trying to do! You're trying to kill me! I HATE YOU!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [chases Riley and proceeds to beat him offscreen while the Dubois and Huey look] You are gonna get it!
- Riley Freeman: I don't wanna eat the cobbler! I DON'T WANNA EAT THE COBBLER!
- Uncle Ruckus: How many in your party?
- Customer: Just us.
- Uncle Ruckus: And how long of a nap will you be taking?
- Customer: Well we were thinking maybe 45 minutes.