- Eric Matthews: Mom, hold my calls. Tonight I'm gonna be studyin'.
- Amy Matthews: [sarcastic] Great. Let me get my camera.
- Eric Matthews: Hey, I'm serious! I mean, I got pencils, I got notebook, I got refreshment. I got everything i need to be a studyin' fool!
- Amy Matthews: Where are your books?
- Eric Matthews: [sits quiet]
- Amy Matthews: Did you leave them in your locker?
- Eric Matthews: Yeah, either there or on the bus...
- Amy Matthews: Eric, you don't take the bus.
- Eric Matthews: Well, then they're safely in my locker!
- Shawn Hunter: You, my friend, are in luck. 'Cause, c'mon, what am I the world's biggest expert on?
- Cory Matthews: Really not anything.
- Shawn Hunter: Okay, okay. But I do know a lot about love.
- Eric Matthews: Listen to me. You and Topanga spent the last three Friday nights at home, tearing up at chick flicks.
- Cory Matthews: Excuse me, last Friday night, if you recall, Topanga and I spent a lovely evening at home, watching no TV whatsoever.
- Eric Matthews: You made jam!
- Cory Matthews: It was preserves, Eric. It was preserves. It was a nifty little recipe in this Couples magazine, see? I told them I was married to get a subscription discount.
- Eric Matthews: Are you blind in the eyes, man? Huh? You and Topanga are turning into an old, boring couple.
- Cory Matthews: Eric, Topanga and I have been going out for five months, all right? And in our circle we are considered young and hip
- Topanga Lawrence: [calling from the living room] Hon, how are the muffins doing?
- Cory Matthews: I'll stick a fork in 'em, hon.
- Eric Matthews: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! If you go near that oven, I'll stick a fork in you!
- Cory Matthews: You wouldn't.
- Eric Matthews: Ohm I'd be doing you a favor.
- Cory Matthews: Oh, stop being such a weisenheimer. Who said that?
- Eric Matthews: You did, Pops!
- Jonathan Turner: Yo Matthews, wait up! Your paper on "Of Mice and Men", I've got some serious questions about it. Like, where is it?
- Eric Matthews: Well, um... I can't find it anywhere, I've been to every pet store in the city! I did find this pamphlet on land turtles.
- Shawn Hunter: Word is there's a very hot French girl here who comes from somewhere in Europe.
- Cory Matthews: Possibly France?
- Shawn Hunter: Yeah, France! The gateway to St. Louis!
- Shawn Hunter: You doubled with your folks again.
- Cory Matthews: Only on Friday and Saturday. But Sunday, it was just me and Topanga at the mall. Yep, she bought me slacks.
- Shawn Hunter: Oh, Cory, I think you have a problem.
- Cory Matthews: Yeah, I think so too.
- Shawn Hunter: But you, my friend, are in luck. 'Cause come on, what am I the world's biggest expert on?
- Cory Matthews: Really not anything, but...
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, about tonight, um... Can we reschedule? Some of the girls are getting together, and if it's all right...
- Cory Matthews: Oh, don't speak, don't speak. If you need to get together with the girls of your gender, I... I completely understand.
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, have you been reading Couples Magazine?
- Cory Matthews: I took the quiz on the back. 95!
- Topanga Lawrence: Ooh!
- [she kisses him before she leaves]
- Shawn Hunter: 95? Is that your score or your age?