Jack Albertson: Ed Brown

Quotes 

• Ed Brown : [Speaking about Pepe]  He doesn't need a "seeing eye" dog! He's got "seeing eye" hands!

  Chico Rodriguez : Listen, Pepe, take my word for it. From the neck down, she's just like any other girl.

  Pepe Fernando : Well, that's good enough for me!

• Pepe Fernando : [Speaking to Liz]  I get these headaches. I don't know what to do for them.

  Ed Brown : I'll tell you what to do. Do the same thing I do.

  Pepe Fernando : What's that?

  Ed Brown : I take a beaker of bourbon every hour. After two hours, my headache is still there, but I'm gone.

• Pepe Fernando : [after hearing Liz sing terribly off-key]  Well, who's this girl with the fabulous voice?

  Ed Brown : [to Chico]  I thought you said there was nothing wrong with his hearing?

• Ed Brown : Well, Pepe needs a new chauffeur. He wants somebody to drive his car for the next six months. Would you be interested?

  Liz Garcia, RN : Drive his car? I have just spent a full year preparing myself to be worthy of the high profession of the nurse. A healer, dedicated to the practice of the medical arts, and devoted to the sacred duties of relieving the sick and afflicted. What could make me forget all that and become a chauffeur?

  Ed Brown : Pays, $300 a week.

  Liz Garcia, RN : [Turning quickly to look at Pepe]  Where are the keys?