Jack Albertson: Ed Brown

Quotes 

• Della Rogers : Don't be running away when I'm trying to talk to you! Now, Move that car, man!

  Ed Brown : I'll move it when I'm good and ready! And right now I'm not even ready to get ready!

• Ed Brown : [to Della]  How dare you take a decent, God fearing garage and turn it into a massage parlor! Is this your idea of helping your fellow man?

  Chico Rodriguez : Well, I know some fellow men who are going to enjoy it.

• Mexican Construction Worker : [Coming out of the Restroom with wet hands lifted]  Hey man! Where are the paper towels?

  Ed Brown : Paper towels. In the supermarket. Two blocks away. Third aisle on the right.

• Chico Rodriguez : Ed, This is no time to start drinking.

  Ed Brown : That's why I started in 1933.

• Ed Brown : She's the chocolate chip Barbara Walters.

  Louie Wilson : She was talking to one of her drivers, you vanilla wafer!

• Ed Brown : [Talking to Chico]  I've had it with that female chainsaw!

• Ed Brown : [Talking to Della]  When I first met you, you were a nice, sweet little girl with pigtails. Now look at you! A bull dozer in a recap girdle!

• Ed Brown : [Ed is taking a shot of bourbon]  Ah, That woman's gonna drive me to an early grave.

  Chico Rodriguez : Yeah, Unless that beats her to it.

  Ed Brown : At least I'll go with a smile on my face.

  Chico Rodriguez : And a hole in your liver.

  Ed Brown : I'll wear a long coat, so it doesn't show.

• Ed Brown : [Tipping his hat]  Oh, Good afternoon, Ms. Rogers.

  Della Rogers : Don't "Good afternoon" me, Honkey.