Jerry Van Dyke: Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam

Quotes 

• Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam : I don't know what country you grew up in, but I grew up in America, where they play a little game called football. Maybe you've heard of it. It's a game played by men, big men, men with broken noses, men with noses on the side of their faces, men who can smell their own ears. You know how their noses got that way? I'll tell ya. By running up the middle into other big men. And why were they doing that? Because they were going for the only real glory of the game, a touchdown, which is something I didn't see today. What I saw was a sissy game of kickball.

• Howard Burleigh : Remember, keep that chest high, the butt clenched.

  Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam : You can have one or the other, you can't have both of 'em.