- Cliff: I'm like Old Yeller. You know that movie Old Yeller, when the dog protects the home? My job is to protect the home. I bark
- [begins barking like a dog]
- Cliff: Now boys come by the house and I bark. Pretty soon boys come by and say 'Old Yeller lives up there '. All I'm saying is, good ones come by and some bad ones come by. That's who I am, Old Yeller. That's my job.
- Clair Huxtable: Cliff, you know at the end of that movie... they shot Old Yeller.
- Denise Huxtable: So, Daddy, how do you like David?
- Cliff: I don't know if that's him. He hasn't found himself yet.
- Clair Huxtable: Does any of this sound familiar? "How ugly is he?" "Who is his parole officer?" Face it, Cliff. You are ROUGH.
- Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: [after listening to Denise's boyfriend philosophize] But Dad, what does homework really mean?
- Cliff: It'll mean a lot of pain if you don't do it.
- David James: See, I've been reading Socrates and he believed that true learning comes from just observing the world.
- Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: Where can I get that book?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: You don't read, son.
- Theodore 'Theo' Huxtable: Well, maybe there's a movie about it.
- Cliff: So if you're not going to college, then what are you going to do?
- David James: I thought I'd spend some time trying to find myself.
- Cliff: How much time do you think that's going to take?
- David James: About five or ten years.
- Cliff: Well, you'll be able to find yourself plus a couple more people, don't you think?
- David James: I'm sorry, I only eat brown rice.
- Cliff: Well that's all right, we can take the rice and burn it for you.