- Helen: We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just don't get it. What's wrong with you?
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Can anyone give me another example of a group using coercive techniques such as peer-pressure, chanting, and social-isolation to achieve control over its members?
- Brittany Taylor: Cheerleading?
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Ah, Britney, sometimes despite a complete lack of insight, you stumble upon an interesting answer.
- Mrs. Manson: Now, Dara, let's see if you can make up a story as vivid as your sister's.
- Daria: It's DARIA.
- Mrs. Manson: I'm sorry... DARIA. What do you see in the picture, Dara?
- Daria: Um... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
- Mrs. Manson: Uh, there aren't any ponies. It's two people.
- Daria: Last time I took one of these tests, they told me they were clouds. They said they could be whatever I wanted.
- Mrs. Manson: That's a different test, dear. In this test, they're people, and you tell me what they're discussing.
- Daria: Oh... I see. All right, then. It's a guy and a girl and they're discussing... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
- [Mrs. Manson scowls, while Daria smirks]
- [after Daria and Jane pass succesfully the self-esteem class, Mr. O'Neill congratulates them at the school assembly]
- Mr. Timothy O'Neill: I'd like you to meet two students who have completed our self-esteem course faster than anyone ever before! Please, join me in congratulations as I present these certificates of self-esteem to...
- [Mr. O'Neill reads the names from a ticket, since he fails to remember faces]
- Mr. Timothy O'Neill: ...Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane.
- [meager applause]
- Jane: [shrugs] Oh, what the hell.
- [Jane and Daria approach Mr. O'Neill and take their certificates. Jane steps up to podium, intending to turn the whole foolish event into a joke]
- Jane: I just want to say how proud I am today. Knowing that I have self-esteem gives me even more self-esteem.
- [Jane smirks at Daria, then launches into her act]
- Jane: [wears sad expression] On the other hand, having all of you know that I had low self-esteem makes me feel... kind of bad... like a big failure or something...
- [Daria smiles. The audience starts tittering]
- Jane: I... uh... I want to go home!
- [Jane pretends to burst into tears, and runs off stage. The audience bursts out laughing]
- Mr. Timothy O'Neill: Daria, wait!
- [Mr. O'Neill runs after Jane. Daria steps up to podium]
- [Discussing Manifest Destiny and the Mexican War in history class]
- Mr. DeMartino: Kevin, do you know what war was fought over Manifest Destiny?
- Kevin: Umm... the Vietnam War?
- Mr. DeMartino: That came a little later, Kevin. About a hundred YEARS later. A lot of people died in that war, Kevin. I think we OWE IT TO THEM to at LEAST get the CENTURY right.
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Perhaps you feel it's *unfair* to be asked a question on your first day of class.
- Daria: [scowling] Excuse me?