- Lt. James Dempsey: I ain't crowded, I'm crackered.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Crackered?
- Lt. James Dempsey: Yeah, cream crackered.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Sorry?
- Lt. James Dempsey: [sits down next to her] Cockney rhyming slang: cream crackered; knackered.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: You're learning fast.
- Chief Supt. Gordon Spikings: You two finished?
- Lt. James Dempsey: I guess you're just gonna have to go down there and charm the pants of the guy. Then I can sweaten his gastank.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Hm, thanks a bunch.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Come on, Makepeace. You can ooze sex for thirty seconds, can't ya?
- Lt. James Dempsey: Well, here we go, keep your fingers crossed, and your head down.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Why is it always me who ends up on the floor?
- Lt. James Dempsey: I'm not making any sexist remarks today.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Thank you.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Don't mention it.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: I won't. Are sure this is going to work?
- Lt. James Dempsey: No.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Shall we get a room?
- Lt. James Dempsey: Sorry?
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Didn't I see you hookin' in Mayfair last night?
- [pulls out several pound notes]
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Okay, lunch is on me.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Well, lets see how loose Mrs. Wilson's tongue is.
- Lt. James Dempsey: If you want, I could slap her around for a little bit.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Dempsey, how many times must I tell you that it's very ungentlemanly to hit women.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Okay, I'll hold her, you hit her.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: [Dempsey has commandeered a motorcycle] All we need now is some bright spark from traffic to pull us for not having titfers.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Titfers? Tit for tat, hat!
- Chief Supt. Gordon Spikings: [lying on the floor, bleeding] What are you after, Makepeace? Promotion?
- Lt. James Dempsey: [driving a car] Makepeace, get your head down.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: [in the back seat with a wounded Spikings] I'm on the floor again, I don't believe it!
- Lt. James Dempsey: Don't fight it, it's where you belong.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Now that's a really good match: a saucepan lid and a cherry hog.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: [thinks for a moment] A saucepan lid: kid. Cherry hog?... dog! What a clever boy.