- Buddy Sorrell: You know why your kid makes up these weird stories about being attacked by big birds?
- Rob Petrie: Why?
- Buddy Sorrell: 'Cause you live in the suburbs.
- Sally Rogers: What're you talking about?
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, if he lived in the city like any normal kid, he'd be attacked by a nice street gang.
- Rob Petrie: Maybe he's carrying a torch for her.
- Laura Petrie: Carrying a torch? At his age?
- Rob Petrie: Well, um, maybe more like a match.
- Rob Petrie: What's he doin' now?
- Laura Petrie: Well, he's soaking in the bathtub. It's the only thing that'll keep him quiet.
- Rob Petrie: Well, keep him soaking awhile.
- Laura Petrie: Oh, I hate to. His fingers and toes are all pruny.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, would you rather have him pruny or hysterical?
- Laura Petrie: Pruny.