The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail (1964)

Don Rickles: Lyle Delp

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, why don't you stay in longer, you know, after your term is up?

  Lyle Delp : What for?

  Buddy Sorrell : Build up a credit in case they nab ya again.

• Rob Petrie : Incidentally, Lyle, what kind of an audience are these guys?

  Lyle Delp : Captive - the best audience in the world.

• Lyle Delp : Well, ya see, uh... we-we haven't had a show here in several months, eh-heh.

  Buddy Sorrell : Gee, I thought you had one every week.

  Lyle Delp : Well, we... we do, you see, but, uh, the warden had to postpone the last one, uh, because of the riot.

  Rob Petrie : The riot?

  Lyle Delp : Well, eh-heh, it wasn't exactly a riot. It was sort of a... a difference of opinion, eh-heh... with injuries.

  Buddy Sorrell : What was the riot about?

  Lyle Delp : They didn't like the last show.

  Rob Petrie : He's kiddin' us.

  [Lyle shakes his head] 

  Rob Petrie : He's not kidding.

• Lyle Delp : [regarding Buddy's heart print underwear]  Those are the craziest shorts I ever saw.

  Buddy Sorrell : They're a Mother's Day present.

  Lyle Delp : Mother's Day?

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah. I got it for my mother but she wouldn't wear 'em.

• Lyle Delp : [backstage]  Hey, listen, I better go out there and warm 'em up, okay?

  Sally Rogers : Yeah, I've seen their faces. You better use a blowtorch.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, you sure they like short, fat, cello players?

  Lyle Delp : They'll love you. You have nothing to be afraid of.

  Sally Rogers : They've never heard him play.

• Lyle Delp : Give the man a chance. After he plays, we'll get him.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, why don't you become a comedy writer?

  Lyle Delp : No, I - I - I can't write jokes

  Buddy Sorrell : What write? Steal 'em.

• Lyle Delp : I'd like you to meet two people who fingered me and got me in here. But, they're great. Let's really hear it for 'em, huh. Okay, really big, Rob and Laura Petri.