The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Curse of the Petrie People (1966)

Tom Tully: Sam Petrie

Quotes 

• Sam Petrie : Yeah, well, that little pin there tells the history of the whole Petrie family. Each diamond represents the birthplace of a male Petrie.

• Sam Petrie : [explaining the brooch's curse]  Well, you see that empty setting there in Pittsburgh? That was Uncle Jonah.

  Laura Petrie : Was?

  Sam Petrie : Yeah. The stone dropped out, Uncle Jonah dropped dead. Pow.

  Rob Petrie : Well, Uncle Jonah was an old man. He was, what, eighty-seven.

  Sam Petrie : But he DIED, and that's the important thing.

  Clara Petrie : But, Sam, it was six months later.

  Sam Petrie : There's nothing more horrible than a slow, LINGERING death.

  Clara Petrie : Sam Petrie, one more word out of you and I'm leaving.

  Sam Petrie : Threaten me again, Clara, I'll knock my OWN stone out.

• [Rob finally admits his parents into the house while Mr. Mark the jeweler scoots out] 

  Sam Petrie : Well, who was that?

  Rob Petrie : Uh, duh, delivery boy.

  Sam Petrie : Well, why did you slam the door in our faces?

  Rob Petrie : Uh... Laura was undressed. I didn't want you to see her.

  Sam Petrie : Oh, the delivery boy could see her but we couldn't.

• Clara Petrie : [reacting to the brooch on Laura in horror]  AHH!

  Sam Petrie : What's wrong?

  Clara Petrie : Uncle Jonah - he's come back.