The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Three Letters from One Wife (1964)
Mary Tyler Moore: Laura Petrie
Quotes
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[Rob can't take another week of Alan's anxieties and needling over a risky show that become preempted due to a flooded subway]
Laura Petrie : Rob, something has come up that I, as your wife, feel that you should know.
Rob Petrie : If it'll make me happy, go ahead and tell me, if not, save it, because it could drive me over the brink.
Millie Helper : [bursting out in tears] Oh, Rob, I'm so sorry! Y-you don't ever have to speak to me ever again.
Rob Petrie : [levelly] It's not gonna me me happy, is it?
Laura Petrie : I don't think so.
Rob Petrie : Did she kill Jerry?
Laura Petrie : Rob, is has to do with the program.
Rob Petrie : SHE flooded the subway?
Millie Helper : [distraught] I was only trying to help!
Rob Petrie : [incredulously] She DID flood the subway?
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Laura Petrie : Now, I think the first thing we have to do is say nothing to Rob.
Millie Helper : Ooo, I like that first thing.
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Millie Helper : Huh.
Laura Petrie : Millie, what was that "huh?"
Millie Helper : Just "huh."
Laura Petrie : No, Millie, I know you a little too well. That was no ordinary "huh." Now, what are you thinking?
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[Millie sent fourteen letters praising Alan Brady for a show that didn't air]
Laura Petrie : We have nothing to worry about.
Millie Helper : Oh, good.
Laura Petrie : What do I mean "we?"
Millie Helper : You and me.
Laura Petrie : Yeah, that's what I mean. It is not you and me. It's just you.
Millie Helper : But you didn't tell me not to do it!
Laura Petrie : Millie, I didn't tell you anything, I didn't even know what you were talking about, and I certainly didn't think you'd mail them before the show.
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Laura Petrie : Rob? Are you all right?
Rob Petrie : [laughing continuously] I couldn't be worse.
Millie Helper : Rob, what can I do?
Rob Petrie : Take advantage of my temporary insanity and get out of here.
[Millie runs out]
Laura Petrie : [trying to comfort Rob] Darling...
Rob Petrie : [unable to stop laughing] Don't touch me.