Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Phone Luv (1998)

H. Jon Benjamin: Ben Katz

Quotes 

• Dr. Katz : [after answering the phone]  Who should I say is calling?

  Ben Katz : Is that for me?

  Dr. Katz : [to Ben]  Yeah. It's Cindy from Tele-Purchases.

  Ben Katz : Oh, my main squeeze. I love it.

  Dr. Katz : [to Cindy]  Uh, y-y-yeah, Ben has told me all about you. This is, yeah, I'm, uh...

  Ben Katz : Dad, please.

  Dr. Katz : ...Dr. Katz, and I'm Ben's, uh... I'm Ben's father.

  Ben Katz : [sighs]  Oh my God. Gimme the phone, dad.

  Dr. Katz : Hey, B-B-Ben...

  Ben Katz : Don't embarrass me.

  Dr. Katz : ...it's, it's...

  Ben Katz : I KNOW who it is!

  Dr. Katz : ...It's CINDY, the one you were telling me about.

  Ben Katz : Well gimme the phone!

  Dr. Katz : Okay, one sec, but just...

  [to Cindy] 

  Dr. Katz : yes, yes, yes. One second, I'll get him.

  Ben Katz : [grabs phone]  Thanks. Dad, can you, uh...

  [clicks mouth] 

  Ben Katz : gimme, uh...

  Dr. Katz : What?

  Ben Katz : Can you,

  [whistles] 

  Ben Katz : out, through the revolving door there? Would you mind, dad?

  Dr. Katz : I'm just finishing my coffee, so...

  Ben Katz : Don't hit your fat ass on the way out, on the door, okay?

  Dr. Katz : I'm not listening, Ben, so just go ahead, y'know?

  Ben Katz : [whispering]  Dad, get out. NOW.

  Dr. Katz : [also whispering]  Ben, why can't I be in the same room as you?

  Ben Katz : 'Cause dad, I'm trying to get a little privacy on the phone.

  Dr. Katz : Yeah, but we don't have any secrets from each other, there's nothing you can't say...

  Ben Katz : If YOU wanted some privacy, I would leave the room.

  Dr. Katz : But there's nothing you can't say...

  Ben Katz : I don't wanna have this argument right now, I'll have it with you later! Right now, I wanna talk on the phone!

  Dr. Katz : Well, now's when I'm available.

  Ben Katz : This is costing SOMEBODY money. So why don't you get out of the room?

  Dr. Katz : Why don't you treat your father with a little respect?

  Ben Katz : Yeah, use the

  [bleep] 

  Ben Katz : -ing door!

  Dr. Katz : Okay, but I don't see why I have to leave the room...

  Ben Katz : Dad, would you please-

  [to Cindy] 

  Ben Katz : Cindy, could you hold one second, 'cause I'm just gonna, just gotta...

  [to Dr. Katz, whispering] 

  Ben Katz : Dad, get out. OUT.

  Dr. Katz : Okay, I'm-I'm out. This, this, this hurts my feelings, Ben, and we're gonna have to deal with this later.

  Ben Katz : Fine, we'll deal with it later.

  [seconds later, whispering] 

  Ben Katz : Dad.

  Dr. Katz : [still whispering]  What?

  Ben Katz : Come back.

  Dr. Katz : Why?

  Ben Katz : I need your credit card.