- Inspector Richard Queen: [as Ellery goes to answer the front doorbell] If that's Velie, tell him I'm not interested in any homicide cases at the moment! I'm reading Orphan Annie!
- Vera: FF, when was the last time you read a book?
- Frank Flannigan: When the guy who ghosted my autobiography sent me a copy. I couldn't get through it.
- Bud Armstrong: Our readers are children! Millions of bloodthirsty little kids, and we give them what they want!
- Ellery Queen: Now I know what Bud Armstrong was trying to tell me. Do you know? You have all the clues: the blue pencil, the mark on the drawing - this mark. Oh, and don't forget the gun. Don't forget the fact that it was unloaded when I saw it before the murder. And what else... oh, you might also consider all the jobs of the suspects. Got it? OK, let's find out if we're right.
- Kenny Freeman: Well, if you have any complaints about my lettering, say so.
- Bud Armstrong: You can count on it.
- Phil Collins: [when Ellery complains about his cartoon portrayal] Does Mickey Mouse look like a mouse?