- Captain Jonathan Archer: Whatever friction there's been between us, I'd like to try to minimize it.
- Sub-Commander T'Pol: Friction is to be expected whenever people work in close quarters for extended periods of time.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I guess that's always been true, especially when the people are of the opposite sex.
- Sub-Commander T'Pol: Then it's good that you're my superior officer, that we're not in a position to allow ourselves to become attracted to one another, hypothetically. If we were, the friction that you speak of could be much more... problematic.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Does your expertise on... sexual tension come from professional training or... firsthand experience?
- Dr. Phlox: I do have three wives.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: And they each have...
- Dr. Phlox: Two husbands, besides myself.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Sounds very complicated.
- Dr. Phlox: Very. Why else be polygamous?
- Captain Jonathan Archer: If Porthos pulls through, will he need... a special diet or treatments, having a chameleon's pituitary gland?
- Dr. Phlox: Hm... You may have trouble finding him. He'll have the ability to blend into his background when frightened.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: You're kidding.
- Dr. Phlox: Yes, I am. Ha-ha-ha.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I really thought you were beginning to understand something about human feelings.
- Sub-Commander T'Pol: Not when it pertains to primitive quadrupeds who haven't developed the ability to speak or to use a toilet.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: An old girlfriend's mother had... this beagle I was crazy about. Even after her daughter and I broke up, we stayed in touch. When the dog got pregnant, I was the first one she called. Four males in the litter - the Four Musketeers. I've had Porthos since he was six weeks old.
- Sub-Commander T'Pol: [on the Kreetassans] We obviously offended them again.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Maybe my hair's parted on the wrong side.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [referring to the Kreetassans] I'm told I've offended these people twice, once for eating in front of them, the second time I don't even know what for. But if their carelessness has hurt Porthos, or God forbid, ends up killing him - they're gonna find out what being offended is all about.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: You're gonna drown my dog?
- Dr. Phlox: Only for an hour, Captain. There should be no problem resuscitating him once the surgery's complete.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: How many times have you done this before?
- Dr. Phlox: Never.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [alarmed] Has anyone done this before?
- Dr. Phlox: Not to my knowledge.
- Dr. Phlox: You needn't be concerned. I hold six degrees in interspecies veterinary medicine.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I thought you were just... you know a... people doctor.
- Dr. Phlox: As a matter of fact, I've also earned degrees in dentistry, hematology, botanical pharmacology...
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [making a surrendering gesture] I'm impressed!
- Dr. Phlox: Have you considered that your anger may encompass more than just Porthos and the Kreetassans?
- Captain Jonathan Archer: What?
- Dr. Phlox: How long has it been since you were intimate with a woman?
- Captain Jonathan Archer: What?
- Dr. Phlox: How long has it been...
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I heard you! I suppose you're gonna tell me you have a degree in psychiatry too.
- Dr. Phlox: Absolutely.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Let me ask you a question, Doc, just out of curiosity - are there any dogs on your homeworld?
- Dr. Phlox: The Denobulan lemur is highly sought after. It's... not exactly a dog, but you could say it's doglike; it has tail, fur, most have one head...
- Dr. Phlox: We should both try to get a few hours of rest. If there are any changes in his vital signs, the alarms are quite loud.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [of Porthos] Is he comfortable?
- Dr. Phlox: He's fast asleep.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I'm glad to see someone is.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Did you have any pets when you were a kid?
- Dr. Phlox: My people don't keep pets.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I thought you said something about... the Denobulan lemur being highly sought after.
- Dr. Phlox: Oh, very much so. Their kidneys are considered a great delicacy.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: You know, this isn't some guinea pig you're working on here, this is Porthos, my beagle, my pal! And from what you're telling me, the closest thing your people have to pets are furry little things that go well with onions!
- [Archer has accidentally spilled a viscous liquid over Phlox]
- Captain Jonathan Archer: That stuff isn't poisonous, is it?
- [Phlox takes some of it on his finger and tastes it]
- Dr. Phlox: Nah, I'll be fine.
- Sub-Commander T'Pol: [of the Kreetassans] They're not interested in punishing you. They only want an appropriate apology.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I'm sorry!
- Sub-Commander T'Pol: For what?
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Just practicing.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [reading the reconciliation demands of the Kreetassans] Well, this isn't so bad. I was sure there'd be something in here about standing on one foot with my eyes shut, reciting 'The Night before Christmas'!
- Dr. Phlox: [in Archer's dream] We are gathered here today, to bid a final farewell to a faithful and kind colleague, a friend, who would never hesitate to offer his paw, in exchange for a simple smile, or a slice of cheese. Like his namesake, this quadruped believed we should stand together, all for one, and one for all.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Listen, Doc, however this turns out, I want to apologize for... accusing you of being insensitive before.
- Dr. Phlox: As I recall, you accused my entire species of being insensitive.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Then I apologize to you and all your fellow Denobulans.
- Dr. Phlox: Well, I can't speak for the others, but on behalf of myself, I accept. And to think, T'Pol told me you were incapable of apologizing.
- Dr. Phlox: [referring to his family] You asked me if I miss them. The answer is yes - every one of them. The children, the wives... even the other husbands. But we Denobulans live a long time, Captain, and right now, there's nowhere I'd rather be than serving with the Interspecies Medical Exchange aboard this wonderful vessel of yours.
- Dr. Phlox: I hear things went very well on the surface.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: I doubt I would have even gone down there, if it hadn't been for you, Doc. I owe you one.
- [last lines]
- Captain Jonathan Archer: Sickbay's all yours.
- Dr. Phlox: You're welcome back anytime, Captain.
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [Speakng to T'Pol] No... it's OK. When you get back to the bridge, why don't you send me your lips.
- [horrified pause]
- Captain Jonathan Archer: LIST! LIST!
- [T'Pol stares impassively for a moment, then turns and leaves]
- Dr. Phlox: Two Falarian slips within 30 seconds. Interesting...
- Captain Jonathan Archer: If anything happens to Porthos, I'll be the one watering their Alvera trees!
- Captain Jonathan Archer: [to T'Pol] When you get back to the bridge, why don't you send me your lips?... lisp... list!
- Dr. Phlox: If you were a married man, I'd be wondering if your wife had thrown you out.
- [when Archer enters sickbay with his bedding]