Quotes
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Ari Gold : [to secretary Jen, after Dana Gordon has not returned Ari's calls] You probably don't know me. You will. I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun. Tell her that I'm going to start a website. I'm going to take a full page ad out in the L.A. Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called I'mahollywoodexecutivewhore.com, and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I want a fucking call back!
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Ari Gold : [talking to Lloyd over the phone] I don't care if he's in the Arctic shelf. Get James Cameron on the phone, get Dana Gordon on the phone, tell her assistant that if she does not call me back, I'll fuck her worse than I did in Cabo in '92.
Lloyd : Do you really want me to say that?
Ari Gold : Improvise, Lloyd. I'll be there in 90 seconds. Find out who covers Warners. If all of this isn't taken care of, I'll choke you out with a strap-on!
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Lloyd : I got Dana Gordon's assistant on the phone.
Ari Gold : What the fuck are you wearing?
Lloyd : I'm trying out new looks... this one's my Andre3000... you like?
Ari Gold : No I don't, you look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don't you do a triple fucking axle over to the phone and try Cameron again?
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Emily : [answering phone] James Cameron's office.
Ari Gold : Hi. Who am I speaking with?
Emily : This is James's assistant Emily.
Ari Gold : Hey, Emily, this is Ari Gold. Do you know me?
Emily : Uh, yeah, Ari, it's Emily.
[he still just doesn't realize...]
Emily : You're joking, right, Ari?
Ari Gold : Emily! I totally forgot that you work over there. How are you?
Emily : I am good, Ari.
Ari Gold : I'm amazing. You miss me?
Emily : Like I miss head lice.
Ari Gold : Uh-oh. Did we end badly?
Emily : You were supposed to write me a reference letter.
Ari Gold : I can write you another one if you're not happy. Listen, how do I get James on the phone?
Emily : You can wait for him to call you back,
[causes Ari to crush the therapeutic tennis ball he's holding in his hand]
Emily : 'cause I totally gave him all nine messages.
Ari Gold : Uh... listen, Emily, honey, what do you know about Aquaman?
Emily : That he fights crime underwater. Bye, Ari.
[ends call]
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Eric Murphy : [re Variety leaking that Vincent is Aquaman] How can they print that? It's not even true!
Ari Gold : Oh, come on! Variety's like a high school paper. They pay their writer twenty-eight grand a year to find out something to write about the popular kids.
Eric Murphy : Yeah, what the fuck are we gonna do, Ari? This is a big problem.
Ari Gold : First of all, there is no "we" in "I". I am already on it. I called Dana Gordon.
Eric Murphy : You spend a lot of time waiting for people to call you back.
Ari Gold : Well, you know what? I got her her job. She will call me back.
Eric Murphy : And what do I tell Vince?
Ari Gold : Until we confirm that Leo is actually doing this movie, nothing has changed. We heard this from a fucking club promotor named Chuckie. Until we find this out from somebody who actually works in this business, Vince is still Aquaman!
Eric Murphy : And you're still Vincent's agent. Keep checking with me to confirm that!
[ends call]
