- Ben Stiller: And who are you?
- Andy Millman: Nobody.
- Ben Stiller: What?
- Andy Millman: Nobody.
- Ben Stiller: Exactly. And who am I?
- Andy Millman: Either Starsky or Hutch, I can never remember.
- Ben Stiller: Was that supposed to be funny?
- Andy Millman: You tell me, you were in it.
- Ben Stiller: I've kissed Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore! I've slapped Jennifer Aniston's butt!
- Maggie Jacobs: Yeah, in films.
- Ben Stiller: It still counts! It still counts...
- Maggie Jacobs: What have you gone for?
- Jon: Oh, boring. Just three-been salad, spinach and smoothie. I'm on a high-fiber diet.
- Maggie Jacobs: Oh, no bowel cancer for you then?
- Andy Millman: [Embarrassed at his unintentional racist comments] I am sorry, I don't want to sound like a racist. But I don't happen to know the intricate difference between Chinese & Japanese.
- Maggie Jacobs: They teach something in the school, don't they?
- Andy Millman: [Realizing what she's about to say] No, don't!
- Maggie Jacobs: [Ignoring, and twisting her eyes, touching her knees and breasts in order] Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees... What are these?
- Andy Millman: [doubting that Maggie would want to date Jon now that she's discovered he has one leg shorter than the other] Do you really want to be known as "that girl"?
- Maggie Jacobs: What girl?
- Andy Millman: "Maggie." You know Maggie? The one who goes out with that guy with the big shoe?
- Jon: [in the cafeteria] Hi.
- Maggie Jacobs: Oh, hi, there. What you doing here?
- Jon: I'm just having lunch.
- Maggie Jacobs: Oh, right, yeah. We're having lunch as well.
- Andy Millman: Yeah. Letting it cool down here, though.