Extras (TV Series)

Kate Winslet (2005)

Ashley Jensen: Maggie Jacobs

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Andy and Maggie, in costume as a German refugee and a Nazi soldier, are discussing her new boyfriend between takes] 

  Maggie Jacobs : [quietly, embarrassed]  He likes to talk dirty on the phone. He'll call me up and he's coming out with all this filth.

  Andy Millman : Why... would you tell me that?

  [grinning] 

  Andy Millman : What does he say?

  Maggie Jacobs : He calls up and says things like "Ooh... what are you doing?"

  Andy Millman : What do you say?

  Maggie Jacobs : Well I didn't know what was going on at first - I didn't realize - and I was just honest with him and I said "Oh, I'm just cleaning out the vegetable drawer to the fridge."

  Andy Millman : [bursts out laughing]  What if he thought that was a euphemism? "Ooh, I'm cleaning out my vegetable drawer. Ooh, I'm scrubbing my front step." Have you talked dirty back to him?

  Maggie Jacobs : No, I have not. I don't know what to say to him, it's too embarrassing. What if I say something and he just laughs at me, or something and it's too much and he gets all offended?

  Andy Millman : Well no, it's just stuff like "Ooh, I'm playing with myself."

  [they laugh] 

  Kate Winslet : [getting coffee behind them in her nun's habit]  Sounds interesting.

  Andy Millman : Hey. Not me, her.

  Kate Winslet : Go on.

  Andy Millman : [pause, then in a rush]  Her boyfriend likes to talk dirty on the phone and she doesn't know what to say to him.

  Kate Winslet : Oh yeah, that can be a bit awkward. Why don't you just start with something light, you know, like um - "I'd love it if you stuck your Willy Wonka between my Oompa-Loompas," you know, something a bit fun, a bit jokey. And then you can get more hardcore, run with the old classics, like "I'm playing with my dirty pillows," "I'm aching for your big purple-headed womb ferret." And then go straight in hard, like "Get 'round here 'cause I'm fudding myself stupid and I'm bloody loving it." Right?

  Maggie Jacobs : [incredibly uncomfortable]  Yeah.

  Kate Winslet : Okay? Back on.

  [stands up, walks away] 

  Andy Millman : [to her as she walks away]  Love to Sam Mendes.

  [stunned, to Maggie] 

  Andy Millman : Kate Winslet, talking dirty to Anne Frank and Joseph Goebbels, just another normal day.

• Maggie Jacobs : Oh, how was the date?

  Andy Millman : The date. Um, oh, good. Let me just go over some highlights for you. Lied to a priest in front of a room full of Christians, some of them elderly, some of them just weird and bewildered. So insulted them and their belief system, made a woman hate me for the rest of her life. Yeah? Didn't believe in God before. Definitely going to hell.

• Maggie Jacobs : I think I need to go for a wee.

  [sigh] 

  Maggie Jacobs : That's the third one already.

  Andy Millman : Good. Well, keep me posted throughout the week. Maybe keep a journal.