The Facts of Life (TV Series)
Fear Strikes Back (1981)
Louis Welch: Instructor
Quotes
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Self-Defense Instructor : You see me coming, you sense something's wrong, what's the first thing you do?
Edna Garrett : Pray.
Self-Defense Instructor : Okay, then what?
Edna Garrett : Run.
Self-Defense Instructor : Right! Run like hell! And?
Edna Garrett : Scream.
Self-Defense Instructor : That's right, but don't just scream. Scream 'fire!' That will get people's attention.
Edna Garrett : Fire!
Self-Defense Instructor : That's right, again!
Edna Garrett : Fire!
Self-Defense Instructor : Louder!
Edna Garrett : FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE!
Self-Defense Instructor : Very good, Mrs. Garrett, very good.
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Natalie Green : I think this is great, it's all very entertaining, it just doesn't happen this way.
Blair Warner : [all the girls heckle her] The man's an expert.
Natalie Green : Well I'm an expert too! And when it happened to me, NONE of this would've helped, there was NOTHING I could do to stop it!
Self-Defense Instructor : How about before it happened?
Natalie Green : What do you mean?
Self-Defense Instructor : Was it night?
Natalie Green : Yes.
Self-Defense Instructor : Did you ask someone to walk with you?
Natalie Green : No.
Self-Defense Instructor : Did you stick to a well lighted path?
Natalie Green : No.
Self-Defense Instructor : You used a shortcut?
Natalie Green : Yeah but I've done it a...
Self-Defense Instructor : Did you at least listen for footsteps? Check the area for strangers?
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Self-Defense Instructor : Does anybody have a purse?
Lucy : [lifts hers up] Here, it's a mess.
Self-Defense Instructor : May I?
[dumps out contents]
Self-Defense Instructor : There are a lot of things in a purse that can help you. A good place to go for is the throat, keys,
[stabs the air]
Self-Defense Instructor : pencil, hairbrush, or even this.
Natalie Green : A lollipop?
Self-Defense Instructor : [holds it with stick pointed up] You hold it like this and it becomes a dangerous weapon.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey : Killer candy!
Self-Defense Instructor : Listen, when you're really in trouble, all you need is something, anything that will give you that extra few seconds so you can just get away.
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Self-Defense Instructor : [after Jo demonstrates an impressive level of confidence] You know something about self defense?
Jo Polniaczek : Me? Self defense? A little.
Self-Defense Instructor : Ok. I'm coming towards you and I want your money.
[Jo ably defends herself and gets cocky; he turns the tables]
Self-Defense Instructor : Now what do you say?
Jo Polniaczek : It's in my back pocket.
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Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey : [showing the instructor how she walks] So, how'd I do?
Self-Defense Instructor : You were casual, relaxed, in other words, lousy. You look like a victim! What if someone's checking you out? You want to look like you can handle yourself. Walk with confidence, maybe he'll pass you by.
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Self-Defense Instructor : Don't look for trouble. You don't want to put him away. You just want to get away. Always avoid confrontation.
Jo Polniaczek : [laughs] Until I finish this course.
Self-Defense Instructor : Always! Listen, whenever anybody jumps you, you NEVER have the upper hand, so don't try to play it.
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Self-Defense Instructor : [to Blair] Oh, listen, when I leave, how do I get out of here?
Blair Warner : [points] Oh, you just go right out that...
Self-Defense Instructor : [grabs Blair's hand, pins it behind her back and his arm goes around her neck] Never let your guard down when a stranger approaches. What are you going to do now?
Blair Warner : I don't know!
Self-Defense Instructor : Well, your legs are free. Kick me.
Blair Warner : I can't!
Self-Defense Instructor : You've got a free hand. Hit me. Go for the groin.
Blair Warner : [gasps] I can't!
Self-Defense Instructor : What's the matter, Blair? Too un-ladylike?
Blair Warner : Yes!
Self-Defense Instructor : You're not going to be dealing with Prince Charles out there. No area of the body is off limits. You're protecting yourself, maybe even your life, so please, anything goes.
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Self-Defense Instructor : Take a look around the room. Statistics say about half of you will be a victim of a serious crime at some time in your life.
[the girls giggle]
Self-Defense Instructor : Oh that's right, giggle, but it could happen to you. It doesn't have to though, not if you don't go around like a victim.