The Facts of Life (TV Series)

From Russia with Love (1981)

Charlotte Rae: Edna Garrett

Quotes 

• Grandma Mona : First they burnt all our hay. And then a mean old looking cossack, started whipping my father.

  Blair Warner : How terrible.

  Grandma Mona : I ran over to him and I said 'you stop hurting my papa!' Then he put a gun to my chest and he said 'Lie down'.

  Jo Polniaczek : Geez Louise.

  Grandma Mona : And I said 'no, if you want to kill me, I'll stand'. He said 'I don't want to kill you, I want something else.'

  Edna Garrett : Oh my God.

  Blair Warner : What did you do?

  Grandma Mona : I don't know, without even thinking, God must've given me the strength, I gave him such a push that he fell back over a milk stool, and I began to run. And I ran and I ran and I ran, until I hid, in a corn field.

  Edna Garrett : And he never found you?

  Grandma Mona : No.

  Edna Garrett : Oh Mona, you're lucky to be here.

  Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey : And we're lucky we weren't there.

• Grandma Mona : Natalie's upstairs and I'm down here, and maybe it's better.

  Edna Garrett : What happened?

  Grandma Mona : I don't know. Natalie isn't Natalie anymore. I think she's too old for me. She says that I treat her like a baby.

  Edna Garrett : I'm sure it's just a little misunderstanding.

  Grandma Mona : Oh no, it's a fight. My granddaughter doesn't want me to talk or sing or even to pinch her anymore. In the first place I don't go around saying 'I think I'll pinch Natalie'. But somehow when I get close to her, it just happens.

  Edna Garrett : I know, I know, it's a reflex action. I still muss my son's hair and he's pushing 32.

  Grandma Mona : Yes, it isn't easy to be a grandmother.

  Edna Garrett : I know. I mean I wish I knew. I have 2 sons who could give me a grandchild, but one of them's single and the other one's lazy.

• Edna Garrett : Mona? Mona?

  Natalie Green : Where is she?

  [turns] 

  Natalie Green : She's on the floor! Grandma!

  Edna Garrett : Oh my God!

  [they rush over] 

  Grandma Mona : Yes...

  Natalie Green : What're you doing down there?

  Grandma Mona : My, my leg lifts. It's good for the circulation.

  Edna Garrett : You have no idea what it's done for mine.

• Grandma Mona : She says kids don't like to be with old people. All they want from their grandparents is to keep an open purse and a closed mouth. I told her my Natalie is not like that. But I was wrong, and Rose Furillo is right.

  Edna Garrett : No Mona, Rose Furrillo was not right.

  Grandma Mona : Things are not like they were in my days.

  Edna Garrett : Bull feathers. The girls said the same thing to me and you've got to call them on it. There is absolutely nothing, NOTHING, that they are going through today that we have not gone through ourselves... or seen on Donahue.

• Grandma Mona : I can't believe it's been 60 years since I was this girl. Lately I look in the mirror and I say 'no, that's not me. How did I get into that old person's body?'

  Edna Garrett : Mona, you're not old.

  Grandma Mona : Tell that to my doctor, maybe he'll let me drink more cocoa, and less hot water with lemon.