- Doris Schwartz: [quoting Bruno] 'Haven't I seen you somewhere before?' That line was invented before birth control.
- Nancy: You take baths?
- Bruno Martelli: You want to make an appointment?
- Nancy: You've seen me in your bath.
- Bruno Martelli: [thinks for a moment] You have an incredible fantasy life.
- Nancy: [laughs] I'm the 'Valley Mist Beauty Bar' girl.
- Bruno Martelli: [realizing] I've taken baths with you...
- Nancy: [giggles] Yeah, that's correct.
- Doris Schwartz: Who was your first friend when you first came to school here?
- Julie Miller: Montgomery.
- Doris Schwartz: After him.
- Julie Miller: You.
- Doris Schwartz: Who showed you the subways?
- Julie Miller: You.
- Doris Schwartz: Introduced you to Bloomingdales?
- Julie Miller: You.
- Doris Schwartz: Chocolate covered champagne truffles?
- Julie Miller: You.
- Doris Schwartz: Miller, there is a debt here. Now you owe me, and it's time for the bill to be paid.
- Lydia Grant: You know, Mrs. Berg, it's really a shame about romance. Either it makes you feel terrific like Elizabeth or awful like Doris. There ought to be some middle ground, where you don't feel anything.
- Mrs. Berg: Oh there, is, they call it ' married'.
- Julie Miller: [angry] I'd like to slap the hell out of you!
- Doris Schwartz: Julie, you said the 'H' word.
- Julie Miller: There's no accounting for taste, but all he did all night was pump me about you!
- Doris Schwartz: [realizing what this means] Swear on your cello that what you just said was the truth.
- Doris Schwartz: I'm gonna need to talk to your agent.
- Will: Why, what for?
- Doris Schwartz: Well, because I have a contract I want you to sign and he'll probably wanna look at it, you know how agents are.
- Will: Oh yeah? What's this contract gonna say, huh?
- Doris Schwartz: That for the rest of our lives, no matter where we are, or what we're doing, if one of us needs the other one, we'll always be there for each other.
- Nancy: Bruno, you and I have about as much future as a puddle in the noonday sun. Let's not waste what little bit there's left, okay?
- Bruno Martelli: Of course, if you don't want my opinion, I could just sit here, hope I get lucky and te floor will open up.