- David Reardon: I don't know which is worse, taking exams or making them up.
- [a beat]
- David Reardon: I said, I don't know which is worse...
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: I heard what you said. I doubt very much it'll become any more profound if I listen to it a second time.
- Elizabeth Sherwood: Mr. Shorofsky, shame on you.
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: Never say that to a Jewish person early in the morning. Our guilt hasn't had time to warm up yet.
- Lydia Grant: All right, class, get ready to go! You'll be happy to know that I'm feeling real mean today. And that means you all are gonna get a lot of work done.
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: Please forgive an old bachelor who wanted to show off his talented children.
- Elizabeth Sherwood: Mr. Shorofsky, you are not being objective about this. This is a knee-jerk reaction. It is also boneheaded dumb.
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: Flattery will get you nowhere.