- Steve Urkel: Ms. Steuben... I'm sorry.
- Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. You're always sorry. Listen, Steven, I've... I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department.
- Steve Urkel: Well, gee, that's a shame.
- Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well... Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. next semester, are ya?
- Steve Urkel: No.
- Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. Oh, good. I'll teach that.
- [Performing Romeo and Juliet]
- Laura: Doth thou love me? Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully.
- Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Ouchith!
- Laura: [whispering] Steve, are you okay?
- Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger.
- Rachel Crawford: Poor Laura.
- Harriette: What do you mean?
- Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. You think she'll really kiss Steve?
- Harriette: I don't know. Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid.