Father Ted (TV Series)

Night of the Nearly Dead (1998)

Ardal O'Hanlon: Father Dougal McGuire

Photos 

Quotes 

• Father Dougal McGuire : [Looking out the Window at the modest crowd of middle-aged women]  I'm no good at judging the size of crowds but I'd say there's around seventeen million of them out there

• Father Jack Hackett : They lie in wait like wolves, the smell of blood in their nostrils. Waiting, interminably waiting, and then...

  Father Dougal McGuire : [nodding]  He's right, you know, Ted.

• Father Ted Crilly : We need something that will keep them away from the house, something to distract them... but what?

  [Ted and Dougal sit there thinking] 

  Father Dougal McGuire : A diversion! That's what it's called, a diversion!

• Eoin McLove : I've got a terrible secret.

  Father Dougal McGuire : Do you?

  Eoin McLove : Yeah.

  Father Dougal McGuire : What is it?

  Eoin McLove : I'm not telling you.