Filthy Rich & Catflap (TV Series)

Episode #1.4 (1987)

Mel Smith: Jumbo Whiffy

Quotes 

• Richard Rich : This is my minder, Edward Catflap.

  Jumbo Whiffy : Terrific, terrific, well look, go get yourselves in there and we'll have a drink, you pair of old tarts.

  [laughs and slaps Richie on the back as he pushes him in] 

  Edward Catflap : Don't mind if we do, you rectum-faced bucket of sex sauce.

• Jumbo Whiffy : You've met Jill, I take it? I don't know what I'd do without her, terrific pair of eh... eyes, eh?

  [indicating her bosom with his hands as he laughs] 

  Richard Rich : Yeah, and fantastic knockers as well, hasn't she?

• Jumbo Whiffy : Richie, let me put it this way: when I first came into this office, there was a fat old drunk sat behind that desk mumbling platitudes. And it was me. And I'm still there. You see the way I'm thinking, Richard?

  Richard Rich : Yes.

  Edward Catflap : No.

• Jumbo Whiffy : Oh, sod off, you old queen!

  [Bops Richie playfully on the shoulder] 

  Richard Rich : Oh!

  [Punches Jumbo playfully in the gut] 

  Richard Rich : up yours, you old rancid, dribbling zit!

  Edward Catflap : Yeah, screw you, you complacent, misogynistic, bum-splat!

  [Smacks Jumbo right in the face with a right hook]