- Wilma Flintstone: [about Fred's letter] Hmm. Darn these thick envelopes!
- Betty Rubble: Yeah. How do they expect people to read other people's mail through them?
- Fred Flintstone: I, um, got some news for you, Barney. I may be getting another and better job.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, no fooling? Where?
- Fred Flintstone: I answered this ad in the paper.
- Barney Rubble: [reads the ad] Let's see, uh, "Wanted. Man for high position at Stone Valley Inn. Must be executive type, college graduate, speak Spanish. Salary $450 per month plus meals." And you applied for this job, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Uh-huh, and I should be getting an answer any day now. Sounds like some job, huh, Barn?
- Barney Rubble: It sure does, Fred, but, uh...
- Fred Flintstone: Uh what?
- Barney Rubble: Uh, you ain't a college graduate.
- Fred Flintstone: So who has to know? If they want to see my diploma, I'll tell them it was lost in a fire.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, sure, and if they want to hear you speak Spanish, you'll tell them your accent was lost in a fire, too.
- [Wilma is still reading her mystery book]
- Fred Flintstone: You're really enjoying that book, huh, Wilma?
- Wilma Flintstone: Oh, yes. It's about a woman who tries to get rid of her husband for his insurance.
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah? How does she go about it?
- Wilma Flintstone: Oh, a number of ways. Right now, I'm up to the part where she puts a pillow over his head.
- Fred Flintstone: A-A p-p-pillow over his head? Look, honey, that's not the kind of stuff you should be reading. Why don't you turn out the light and go to sleep?
- Wilma Flintstone: No, I want to read awhile. You go to sleep, Fred.
- Fred Flintstone: I don't think I can sleep.
- Wilma Flintstone: Sure you can. I'll bet in two minutes you're dead to the world.
- Wilma Flintstone: [to Betty] I wish I knew what's wrong with Fred. Last night, he had a terrible nightmare, ran right through the bedroom wall, and didn't come back 'til early this morning.
- Wilma Flintstone: You mean you actually thought I wanted to collect the insurance? Thanks a lot, Fred. That's the nicest compliment I've had today.
- Fred Flintstone: I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, Wilma, but you gotta admit suspicious things happened and with you reading that book...
- Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Fred!
- Fred Flintstone: Well, what would you think if I started reading about Bluebeard and then accidents started happening to you?
- Barney Rubble: I think Wilma is still the sweet, lovable wife she always was and it's gonna take more than a few attempts on your life to make me think otherwise.
- [Fred is selected to be the knife-throwing target]
- Fred Flintstone: Help! Barney, do something!
- Barney Rubble: Don't worry, Fred. I will. If he sticks you with a knife, boy, will I boo him.
- Barney Rubble: I still think you're worrying over nothing, Fred. Uh, your move.
- Fred Flintstone: Nothing? My own wife slings a cleaver at me, tries to do me in with a pillow, and you call that nothing?
- [after Fred signs for the insurance policy]
- Wilma Flintstone: Thanks, Fred. I certainly hope I never need it, but you never know. Insurance can be a wife's best friend.
- [Wilma leaves]
- Barney Rubble: Hmm.
- Fred Flintstone: What's with the "Hmm"?
- Barney Rubble: Oh, I was just thinking about what Wilma said. "Insurance can be a wife's best friend."
- Fred Flintstone: So?
- Barney Rubble: So 40,000 bucks could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
- Fred Flintstone: Will you cut that out?
- Barney Rubble: [to Fred] Wilma's no dope. If she wanted to get rid of you, she wouldn't throw a cleaver at you. She'd do something safe like, uh, putting bug spray in your soup.
- Wilma Flintstone: Come on, Fred, your soup's ready!