The Flintstones (TV Series)

Fred el Terrifico (1964)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Quotes 

• Wilma Flintstone : Well, I have one more mission for you right now, dear.

  Fred Flintstone : What'll it be? Fight a bull? Capture a crook? Just name it.

  Wilma Flintstone : Shave a mustache. Now.

  Fred Flintstone : Aw, Wilma, not that. Have a heart.

  Wilma Flintstone : Come on. Now. Start shaving.

  Barney Rubble : It looks like El Terrifico has met his match.

• Wilma Flintstone : Well, aren't you going to wash it off?

  Fred Flintstone : Wash what off?

  Wilma Flintstone : That dirt on your face.

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma, this is not dirt, it's called uno mustachio, and is worn by the more dashing bullfight aficionados.

• Betty Rubble : Have you finished packing yet, Wilma?

  Wilma Flintstone : Not yet, Betty. Fred, the travel expert, won't let me take all my new clothes.

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma, seasoned travelers pack light. Everything you'll need is right in here. Believe me, sweetheart, you'll be the sensation of the beach.

  Wilma Flintstone : I'll say. You only packed half of my bathing suit.

• Fred Flintstone : If there's one thing I don't intend to be on this trip, it's a typical tourist.

  Wilma Flintstone : Fine, dear, you just be your same old, sloppy self and I'll pretend I'm with the Rubbles.

• Betty Rubble : Wilma's still mad 'cause that woman kissed you, Fred.

  Barney Rubble : Well, gosh, Wilma, Fred can't help it if he's attractive to women. An irresistible Don Juan, the international playboy type, the...

  Fred Flintstone : Keep it up, Barney, you'll really fix it for me.

• Fred Flintstone : Picture postcards. That'll be the day.

  Barney Rubble : Well, what's wrong with that, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : Don't you know anything, Barney? Only tourists run around buying picture postcards.

  Barney Rubble : Well, we are tourists.

  Fred Flintstone : Speak for yourself, Barn. You can hang around those tourist traps if you want to.

  [puts on sunglasses and a sombrero] 

  Fred Flintstone : I am going to mingle with the natives. Oooolé!

  Wilma Flintstone : Ooooh, brother.

• Wilma Flintstone : [while packing]  Watermelon brunch coat, chestnut capris, strawberry bermudas.

  Fred Flintstone : Hey, Wilma.

  Wilma Flintstone : Just a minute, Fred. Orange waffle piqué skimmer, avocado shift.

  Fred Flintstone : What are you packing, a suitcase or a box lunch?

• Barney Rubble : [about Fred's mustache]  Hey, el gordo, you got some dirt on your face.

  Fred Flintstone : Ah, dry up.

• Hostess : Name and address, please.

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, Flintstone, sweetheart. World traveler, et cetera, et cetera. Running down to catch the bullfights. See you aboard.

  [Wilma comes by, carrying all the luggage] 

  Wilma Flintstone : The name is Mrs. Flintstone, the address is Bedrock, and I'm beginning to wish I'd stayed there.

• OfficIal : Ah, El Terrifico.

  Fred Flintstone : No, no, not anymore. From now on, it's just plain old Fred Flintstone, Bedrock, USA.

  [the short detective whispers something to the airport official] 

  OfficIal : Have you anything to declare, señor?

  Fred Flintstone : Only that the best part of a trip is the trip home. I'll see you around.

  OfficIal : [stops Fred]  One moment, señor. I must detain you.

  Fred Flintstone : Why? W-What did I do?

  OfficIal : You did not declare your reward money. That is a serious offense.

  [walks away with Fred] 

  OfficIal : Come with me.

  Fred Flintstone : But I didn't know. I've never traveled in a foreign country before. Wilma! Tell me this is just another joke! Get me out of this!

  Wilma Flintstone : Okay, let's dig up bail for El Terrifico. I've got a dollar.

  Betty Rubble : Here's 50 cents.

  Barney Rubble : And I've got a dime.

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma!

  Wilma Flintstone : Be right with you, Fred! Here's two more nickels.

  Betty Rubble : I might have a little more loose change.

  Barney Rubble : Hey, I think I found a centavo.

  Fred Flintstone : WIIILMA!

• Wilma Flintstone : Fred has been taking Spanish lessons.

  Betty Rubble : [chuckles]  So has Barney. Show them, dear.

  Barney Rubble : Uh, buenos noches, el gordo.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, very good, Barn. Uh, el gordo is Spanish for Fred.

  Wilma Flintstone : No, it's not, Fred. It means fat one.

• Fred Flintstone : Hey, Wilma, wait!

  OfficIal : Not so fast, senor. Are you not called El Terrifico?

  Fred Flintstone : Well, uh, yeah, why?

  OfficIal : You are wanted in 17 states. Come with me.

  Fred Flintstone : Hey, let go! I was just kidding! Wilma, tell him who I am!

  Wilma Flintstone : I believe you said you were El Terrifico, sir.

  Fred Flintstone : What do you mean sir? I'm your husband! Wilma, come back here!

  OfficIal : You match the description of El Terrifico. He's got mustache like yours.

  Fred Flintstone : What mustache? That's dirt! I'm plain old Fred Flintstone from Bedrock! WILMA!

• Mrs. Slaghoople : Wilma, did you take your suntan lotion and a warm sweater?

  Wilma Flintstone : Yes, Mother. Bye.

  Mrs. Slaghoople : Wire me when you arrive.

  Fred Flintstone : Let's go, Barn.

  Mrs. Slaghoople : And send me a postcard from your hotel.

  Fred Flintstone : Okay. Bye, Mother.

  Mrs. Slaghoople : Stop!

  Fred Flintstone : What? What's the matter?

  Mrs. Slaghoople : You'd better go wash your face, Freddie. There's dirt on your upper lip.

  Fred Flintstone : THAT IS NOT DIRT! GOODBYE!