The Flintstones (TV Series)

How to Pick a Fight with Your Wife Without Really Trying (1966)

Mel Blanc: Barney Rubble, Dino, Turtle

Quotes 

• [while staying at Barney's house] 

  Barney Rubble : What do you like for breakfast, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, anything. Steak, dodo eggs, bacon, toast, sausages, rock muffins, pancakes, cereal, french toast, uh, pizza.

  Barney Rubble : Well, which do you want?

  Fred Flintstone : All of them! I'm starved!

• The Great Gazoo : The outcome is assured, Flintstone. It's men who have the superior mind.

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, you're right.

  Barney Rubble : Only one thing, Mr. Gazoo.

  The Great Gazoo : What's that?

  Barney Rubble : If I've got such a superior mind, how come I'm mixed up in a nutty situation like this?

• Fred Flintstone : Look at Dino over there, look how he's lying there missing me.

  [Dino is seen sleeping, dreaming about a female dinosaur kissing him] 

  Barney Rubble : [sarcastically]  Yeah, he sure looks like he's missing you all right.

  [chuckles] 

  Fred Flintstone : Hey, Dino. Psst, psst. Dino. Here, Dino. Come to Daddy.

  [Dino wakes up] 

  Fred Flintstone : Come to Daddy and show him how much you miss him.

  [Dino walks over to Fred] 

  Fred Flintstone : That's a good Dino. You miss your dadda, don't you?

  [Dino growls and bites Fred's nose] 

  Fred Flintstone : Yeowch!

  [Dino walks away barking] 

  Fred Flintstone : How do you like that? And he's supposed to be man's best friend.

  Barney Rubble : Yeah, he sure didn't miss you that time, Fred.

  [laughs] 

  Fred Flintstone : Diabogeny!

• Barney Rubble : [within a bush]  Psst. Betty. Hey, Betty.

  Betty Rubble : [peeks through a window]  Barney. Oh, I miss you so.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, not as much as I miss you, honey bunch.

  Betty Rubble : This is all so silly.

  Barney Rubble : Yeah. Hey, uh, how's Wilma taking it?

  Betty Rubble : Well, you know Wilma. Cheerful on the outside, but on the inside, miserable. How's Fred?

  Barney Rubble : Well, uh, you know Fred. He's miserable inside and outside.

• Barney Rubble : Boy, Fred, I don't see how you can eat like that just before going to sleep. It would give me nightmares.

  Fred Flintstone : Not me.

  [swallows food] 

  Fred Flintstone : In fact, if anything, cucumber sandwiches make me sleep better. Besides, I gotta eat. It takes my mind off...

  Barney Rubble : Wilma?

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, no. No, not... not Wilma. I got other worries. Uh, business and, uh, things.

  Barney Rubble : Oh.

  Fred Flintstone : Why should I be thinking about Wilma? As a matter of fact, I didn't think about her once today.

  Barney Rubble : Okay.

  [turns out the light and yawns] 

  Barney Rubble : Good night, Betty.

  Fred Flintstone : [yawns]  Good night, Wilma.

• [Betty and Wilma are heard laughing next door] 

  Barney Rubble : Hey, Fred, did you hear that?

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah. Boy, you had Wilma pegged right, Mr. Gazoo. She's over there crying her eyes out.

  Barney Rubble : I don't know, Fred. It sounds more like, uh, like laughing to me.

  Fred Flintstone : Don't be silly, Barney. What has she got to laugh about? Would you laugh if I walked out on you?

  [Barney stares off for a while] 

  Fred Flintstone : Well?

  Barney Rubble : I don't know if I'd laugh, Fred, but it made me feel good just thinking about it.