The Flintstones (TV Series)

Ventriloquist Barney (1963)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fred Flintstone : It's a good thing the arena's so close. We don't need the car.

  Barney Rubble : Yeah. Boy, this ought to be some match, Fred. That Bronto Crushrock is a terror. Hey, did you ever see him when he gets real mad?

  Fred Flintstone : No.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, his face gets red.

  [Barney's face turns red] 

  Barney Rubble : His eyes bulge out.

  [Barney bulges out his eyes] 

  Barney Rubble : His nose turns purple.

  [Barney's turns his nose purple] 

  Barney Rubble : Oh, gee, I wish I could describe how horrible he looks.

  Fred Flintstone : You're doing fine.

  Barney Rubble : [turns his face normal]  Oops, Fred, I forgot the tickets. I left them on your TV set.

  Fred Flintstone : You left the tickets on the T... Why, you stupid... Oooh!

  [Fred's face turns red and his eyes bulges out] 

  Fred Flintstone : Of all the dumb...

  Barney Rubble : Fred, that's it!

  Fred Flintstone : That's what?

  Barney Rubble : That's how Bronto Crushrock looks when he gets real mad.

• Fred Flintstone : Well, the wrestling match is out for me, Barney. I guess you'll have to go alone.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, gee, it's no fun going alone.

  Fred Flintstone : I know, but I can't go. It's too late to get another babysitter even if I wanted to.

  Barney Rubble : Hey, Fred, why not take Pebbles along?

  Fred Flintstone : Take her along?

  [Pebbles reacts excitedly] 

  Barney Rubble : Hey, look. She wants to go.

  Fred Flintstone : Barney, I can't take a little girl to a wrestling match.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, no, I suppose not. But if it was a boy, you would, huh?

  Fred Flintstone : Well, yeah, yeah, if Pebbles was a boy, I'd take her in a minute.

  [Pebbles angrily lays back down in her crib] 

  Barney Rubble : In other words, what you are doing is discriminating against your own daughter because she's a girl.

  Fred Flintstone : You are right, Barney! I'm blaming Pebbles for something that ain't her fault.

  Barney Rubble : That's very bad child psychology, Fred. She could grow up resenting you.

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, I can't have her hating me the rest of her life, Barney. I have got to take her. Come on, sweetheart. Daddy's taking you bye bye.

• [after Barney tricks Fred into thinking Pebbles spoke using his ventriloquism] 

  Fred Flintstone : Imagine talking at her age! Wilma, we got a genius in the family. At this rate, in no time at all, she'll be leaving for college.

  Wilma Flintstone : Really? Then I'd better start dinner. I don't like saying goodbye on an empty stomach.

• Barney Rubble : It's a good thing you got home before Wilma, huh, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : What do you mean, it's a good thing? Are you suggesting I'm afraid to have Wilma know I took Pebbles to the wrestling match?

  Barney Rubble : Well, uh...

  Fred Flintstone : Listen, Barney, I am boss in my family. I do what I want when I want.

  [Fred walks into the next room] 

  Barney Rubble : Oh, sure, Fred.

  [mimics Wilma's voice] 

  Barney Rubble : Fred, where have you been?

  [Fred rushes back] 

  Fred Flintstone : Well, Wilma, y-you see, I... I... I...

  [Barney laughs] 

• Fred Flintstone : [after spinning around on his head for Pebbles]  Oh, boy. What a workout.

  Barney Rubble : Hey, you're lucky, Fred. She could've asked you to do some back flips.

  Fred Flintstone : Quiet! Don't give her any ideas! Pebbles, honey, Daddy's tired now, so...

  Barney Rubble : [using his ventriloquism]  Daddy, do some back flips.

  Fred Flintstone : B-B-B-B-But, Pebbles, sweetheart...

  Barney Rubble : Daddy, you said you'd do anything.

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, yeah. Th-That's right, Pebbles.

  [Fred notices Pebbles is sleeping and looks suspiciously at Barney] 

  Fred Flintstone : So you want me to do some back flips, huh? Even if you're asleep?

  Barney Rubble : [still using his ventriloquism]  Yes, Daddy, or I'll cry.

  Fred Flintstone : Well, you ain't the only one who's gonna cry, Pebbles. Barney's gonna cry, too, when I break every bone in his body!

  [Barney runs away with Fred chasing after him] 

  Fred Flintstone : Throw your voice at me, will ya?

  Barney Rubble : Oh, now... now... now, don't get sore, Fred. It was just a little joke.

  Fred Flintstone : Who's sore? I just wanna congratulate you on being such a good ventriloquist. I just wanna shake your throat!