Frasier (TV Series)

Frasier-Lite (2004)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Is that bird nesting in my cashmere scarf?

  Martin Crane : Yeah, we tried a whole bunch of them and that's the one he likes best.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : All right, that's it! I want that sky rat out of here!

  Martin Crane : Oh, no! Eddie will be crushed. The bird's like his pet.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Eddie *is* a pet. He doesn't get to have a pet.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : The sign said "F Hockey." I assumed it meant "Freshman Hockey."

  Martin Crane : The little plaid skirt didn't tip you off?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I thought it was a kilt!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, Morrie, if you're not cheating on your wife, and she still suspects you, then we're obviously dealing with a trust issue.

  Morrie : More like a crazy issue. And I know where she gets it, from her mother - who, by the way, came for Thanksgiving and still hasn't left. Happy New Year!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Perhaps we should tackle these issues one at a time...

  [Over the line Frasier hears loud knocking] 

  Morrie : I'm in the bathroom, Celeste! A little privacy? See how she gets?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, perhaps what is needed here is...

  [click] 

  Celeste : You think I don't know who you're talking to in there, huh, Morrie? It's your little whore, isn't it? Hello, whore.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Celeste, if I could interrupt for just a moment...

  Celeste : A man? It's worse than I thought.

  [Another click] 

  Celeste's Mother : Celeste?

  Celeste : Hang up, Ma!

  Celeste's Mother : You're all on the radio. I'm listening down in the kitchen.

  Morrie : How about washing a dish or two while you're down there?

  [Yet another click] 

  Britney : I cannot stand this yelling! I'm running away from home.

  Morrie : Oh, hang up the phone, Britney, you're going nowhere.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : And neither is this conversation.

  [He cuts off the line] 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : I've decided to rededicate myself to this diet. The team is captained by my old high school nemesis, Wayne Shafter.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [Gasps]  Which one was he?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Big neck, dead eyed, snapped your PBS umbrella.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Daphne, didn't you purchase some sort of stomach-tightening apparatus for dad?

  Daphne Crane : The Ab-Blaster or the Flab-Buster?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Right, I tell you what. Bring me both of them, I'll put them together and see if I can get a real good workout.