Frasier (TV Series)

Frasier-Lite (2004)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Is that bird nesting in my cashmere scarf?

  Martin Crane : Yeah, we tried a whole bunch of them and that's the one he likes best.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : All right, that's it! I want that sky rat out of here!

  Martin Crane : Oh, no! Eddie will be crushed. The bird's like his pet.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Eddie *is* a pet. He doesn't get to have a pet.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : The sign said "F Hockey." I assumed it meant "Freshman Hockey."

  Martin Crane : The little plaid skirt didn't tip you off?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I thought it was a kilt!

• Martin Crane : [about Eddie]  Oh, he's waiting for a pigeon friend of his. We call him Barney. Flies on the balcony every day and they stare at each other. Those crazy animals. Yesterday they did it for three hours... No, I'm not making it up, I watched them the whole time.

• Martin Crane : What happened to your wrist?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, uh, she rolled over in her sleep and pinned me again. I even saw it coming this time, like the big rock in that Indiana Jones movie.

• Martin Crane : Shamu jump the tank again?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Fortunately, I moisturized right before bed, so I squirted out like a watermelon seed.

• Martin Crane : [a pigeon flies into Frasier's window]  Are you happy? You killed Eddie's friend. Poor little guy

  [pause] 

  Martin Crane : Now what should we do? Just kick him over the edge?

• Martin Crane : Alright, everyone stay out of the hall. Eddie just threw up a dead pigeon and now he's eating it again.