Frasier (TV Series)

Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast (1994)

Peri Gilpin: Roz Doyle

Quotes 

• Frasier : Thank you for your call, Jeanine. Roz, whom do we have next?

  Roz Doyle : We have Ethan on line three, and he's having a little problem at school.

  Frasier : Hello, Ethan. I'm listening.

  Ethan : Hi, Dr. Crane.

  Frasier : How old are you?

  Ethan : I'm 13.

  Frasier : Well, uh, what can I do for you?

  Ethan : Well, I'm having a lot of problems with the other kids at school. They're always beating me up.

  Frasier : Why do you think that's so?

  Ethan : Probably because I'm smart. I have a 160 IQ, I'm in the astronomy club, and I hate sports.

  Frasier : Well, Ethan, you know, the other children are just acting out of jealousy and immaturity, and I know it doesn't help much right now, but the day will come in the next few years when you will have the last laugh.

  Ethan : That's it?

  Frasier : Yes.

  Ethan : Frankly, Dr. Crane, I find that advice patronizing, simplistic, and in all candor, uninspired. The real surprise here is they pay you to dole out this balloon juice.

  Frasier : Ethan, where are you calling from?

  Ethan : Home.

  Frasier : Well, if any of Ethan's classmates are listening, you know where he is, and he can't stay in there forever. Thank you for your call.

• Roz Doyle : We have Marianne on line four. She's concerned about her daughter.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [on air]  Hello Marianne, I'm listening.

  Marianne : Kids--you can't live with them, you can't shove them back in the womb.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, as we try to forget the image that summons up, how can I help you, Marianne?

  Marianne : Well, two days ago, Judy, my 22-year-old, arrived home for a visit with her boyfriend. I insisted that they sleep in separate bedrooms. She got furious with me, and she's been giving me dirty looks all week. Am I completely out of line here?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Not at all. I, I think that in your own house you make up the rules.

  Marianne : Thank you.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : But... are we sure there isn't something else going on here? Perhaps you're having a problem thinking of your daughter as an adult. You see, we all have a tendency to freeze people in roles with which we are most comfortable. Especially when it comes to that old bugaboo, sex. You know, let me use myself as an example. As many of you know, my 63-year old father recently moved in with me and, just this morning over coffee, I discovered that he had spent the night in his room with a delightful creature named Elaine. The entire episode completely unnerved me. Why? Because I had never thought of my father as a man with normal sexual urges. To me he was always just plain old Dad. Well, that's absurd. My father is a witty, virile, charming man, possessed of the hereditary Crane good looks. I suppose what I'm driving at is, that sexuality is a healthy part of adulthood, at any age. I think it's time we embrace that, don't you, Marianne?

  Marianne : Sorry, Dr. Crane, I've gotta go. I'm hearing noises from the guest room.

  [hangs up] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, as Marianne rushes to the guest room with a bucket of ice water, we will pause for these messages.